I awake.

I open my eyes and the world is dark. I ache. I pain. An unknown pain racks my system. My breathing is heavy. My mind is racing but I think thats because I woke up with high brain wave activity.

I plug my headphones in my ears. Just trying to drown out the pain and get my mind to slow to a calm walk.

The cd player whirs to life. And seconds later a song plays........

You've been having trouble staying asleep
You been waking up at 4:12
You roll the voices over in your head
Then you try to put them neatly on the shelf

You watch the sun rise
You saw the darkness had no choice before the dawn
With your own eyes
And then you broke out laughing from a yawn

You said, "I'm so sorry I've been so down
I started doubting things could ever turn around
And I began to believe that all we are is material
It's nonsensical"

So you walk outside and everything's new
You're looking at the world with new eyes
As if you'd never seen the sky before this blue
As if you'd never seen the sky in your whole life
And then the phone rings
As it turns out you are already late
And now you're wondering
Is peace just a temporary state?

Switchfoot ah. "4:12". Too cheerfull. Wouldn't want the "awakening dream" to play next that would be just bad.

I jab the next key.

I'm treated to a vicously fun riff.

Burning down neverland
Scatter the ashes
White lines, black tar
The matches
Is this another dead by misadventure
Tell me what you got, what you really got
Hey hey
We'll rest in our graves
Lexington course your veins
Sleepers can't just wake the dead
When needles and lovers
Collapse on guilty beds

Fall asleep, don't fall asleep
Don't fall asleep
They lied when they said that the good die young
They lied when they said the good die young
Woah oh
They lied when they said the good die young
Stay with me
Stay with me tonight

Burning down bridges now
Scatter the ashes
Godspeed to all you're after
Is this a life left just to remember
Tell them who you are, who you really were
Hey hey
Kill yourself slowly over time (over time)
Fashion statement suicide (suicide)
She's still asleep in the Chelsea hotel
Bad turns to worse
And the worse turns into hell

Fall asleep, don't fall asleep
Don't fall asleep
God saved the eyes that are dim tonight
They lied when they said the good die young
Woah oh
They lied when they said the good die young
Stay with me
Stay with me tonight

Woah oh

They lied when they said the good die young
Woah oh
They lied when they said the good die young
Stay with me
Stay with me tonight
They lied when they said the good die young
Woah oh
They lied when they said the good die young
Stay with me
Stay with me tonight

..................................







Thats the mv for the second song.

Insanity is by the card for this one, but for him....It's on tap.

It's time to go home.

Winding roads going out of Tropicana all head 1 way. 1 exit after all.

Speed bump. 1st gear.....Engaged, accelerator floored.

2nd gear....Engaged, accelerator floored.

3rd gear.....Engaged, accelerator.

4th gear......Engaged in 0.1 seconds. Accelerator floored.

As I wind about the roads trying to leave Tropicana and get home as fast as possible, I'm permanantly engaged in 4th gear. My mind slips I find myself thinking "where does Lydia stay?" "Wei Yew stayed there last time" and other random thoughts.

I no longer look at the road. I just use my senses to guide me. I don't see the cars. I don't see their headlights. But I know when they're coming.

At every bend I take my foot partially off the gas to slow my speed, but just as I round the bend.......The peddle hits the floor.

The moon shines brightly the stars tinkle in the distance the trees sway in the wind........As I use every inch of the road.

I know whats too fast, So I never slip.

I know whats too slow, So I'm still having fun.

And then I reach the gates.

I'm outside heading home through BU. I reach the white line.

1st gear.....Engaged, accelerator floored.

2nd gear....Engaged, accelerator floored.

3rd gear.....Engaged, accelerator.

4th gear......Engaged in 0.1 seconds. Accelerator floored.

This is 1 hella boring hols.

I'm cooped up at home. Every attempt to go out is met with a fierce interrogation about.....

Where did I get the money to spend?
How come I've got so much money?
Where am I going?
Who am I seeing?
What time will I be home?
What do I intend to eat?
Have I been to the gym today?

I guess thats pretty discouraging but........It's only happened twice this holiday.

I'm just stuck at home with nothing to do. My friends are not on hols. And my other friends who ARE on hols.......Expecting an outing with them is kind of like rain the desert.......RARE........VERY rare.

So I'm just stuck at home. Err yeah Yiyun if you're worried...I really have started studying again.

A few months back Pui Cheng said she likes the jokes I write on my blog.

That shocked me. SHE UNDERSTOOD THEM???!!!

Actually I kinda took a stab at her for not talking to me. Ok Pui Cheng sorry cause I was feeling down on my luck at the time and incredibly grumpy even as you were talking to me.

Yeah well back to the humour.

I guess my humour has always really been cynical. Deeply cynical and sometimes(more often than not) I take a shot at myself and other people.

I really don't see why only some people get my jokes really. I can't really figure it out.

But I ABSOLUTELY love making cynical jokes. At least all my close buds get it.

I have no idea whats the point of this post except maybe to apologise. I'm still half asleep as I'm typing it anyway.

More updates soon. Maybe this post is just for me to get my writing groove back.