Well I think it's time you choose. If it's not me, stop acting like that. You really can't be inbetween.

And now to the post.
---------------------

I halt my strides. My eyes narrow. I pause. I turn my head towards the sky. I don't see it. I close my eyes I hear it. A thousand small footsteps all landing on the earth around me.

Rain. It's not for the first time it's rained on me trying to get to my car.

It's heavy. Gotta run for it.

I sprint across the road. I reach the double doors of inti's library and I brake hard. My shoes hold.

I reach a blank patch unsheltered. I straighten up and unsling my bag and I use it to shelter myself. Like one of the concept images for a Shadow 9 holding his shield up. I spread the bag out and let it rest against my forearm just like a buckler.

I reminisce. Last time I ran in the rain, it was trying to reach my car from the ADP building. Luckily I moved it to face one of the exits. It was dark that day. And raining like mad. And my tyres were heavily tested that night.

I come back to the present and I realise this block of shoplots has ended too. It's time to go through the alleyway to reach the other block.

I unsling my bag again and repeat the strategy. When I reach the corner a lady tries to sell a man some biscuits he declines and she laughs at me holding the bag up. I must look ridiculous.

When was the last time I did this? Using my bag as a shield? I remember something slightly differint in the way I was gripping it.

Sorry guys you're gonna have to wait over at the ADP building I'll bring around the car.

It was in March. And the first time Sarah and Geoffrey hitchiked. And I can remember what I did.

I unslung my bag and did my best to shield our only female member. She can't run in the heels duh. And she can't totally depend on her folder her stuff inside was getting wet. My bag is absorbant and the stuff inside, all in plastic casings inside plastic casings.

I was badly drenched by the time we reached the ADP building. Even with Geof's running he was wet too. Sarah was by far the dry-est but yet she was still quite wet.

I left them there and I ran to my car. Bag shielding me from the rain although it was raining and blowing. Difficult. I turned it's angle to shield my eyes so I could at least guess where I was going.

And I drove the car over to fetch them.

Odd how we were all wet and amused that day. I dropped Sarah off and drove back to Sunway with Geof again.

Odder still how this isn't my best memory of the rain......

It was a friday in August and it was just pouring. We waited outside 7-11 for ages just the 2 of us. The third had left early before it rained. Talked a lot of crap.

After 1 and a half hours of waiting out there. We walked back in our school uniforms and the rain blasting our skins.

I was feeling very down that day even after all the killing. But I didn't say anything. When the rain ran through my hair, my uniform soaked and my skin all goosepimpled, I felt like everything I was unhappy about was just left far behind. Laughing and shouting in the rain. Forgetting everything. Life rocked. And the whole time I'd hear the voices of Laura and Su Ann singing "rain down".

I stare at my car across the road in the pouring rain. And I unsling it again. Life still rocks!

She grabs my ribs. Smart girl.

She knows my ribs is my weak spot.

I grab her right hand with both my hands and pull her hand away as I sidestep out of her grip.

Her skin is fair. Her face I don't recognise. Her skin is also smooth as I realise when I turn her hand in mine to grab her fingers.

Her grip was strong. She knew it. My abdomen is recovering from strength modulation. And her grab hurt. She was trying to tear the muscles from my stomach. Had she succeeded I wouldn't be able to breathe.

Her face is laughing at me.

I spin around her. Still holding on to her hand. Out of reach for her left hand.

And I yank. I pull her hand back over her head by her last 2 fingers. I stretch her. Pulling harder.

She shifts and I see the tension in her muscles disappear. I turn to counter that constantly keeping her hand perpendicular to her body.

She shifts sideways again. I follow and this time, I use my knee to knock her to the floor.

She's lying face down as I pull her fingers back even more and I sit on her. My left hand checks for tension in her muscles. I'd tear her tendons if it were necessary.

I tell her because she's skilled I grabbed her last 2 fingers for this hold. Because it works better when I'm sitting on her pinning her down. It gets people to beg faster. And grabbing the first 2 is for a frontal attack.

She smirks. And I check for the tension in her muscles again. It's low. The tension is low. But at least it's there. But she's not in pain.

GWUH!

I wake up. I look around the room. I stare at my dad's laptop still on. I suddenly become aware of the noises downstairs. Su Yi's conversation still flashing from when I fell asleep. We were talking about things...I shake the words "6 yr olds must share everything" from my head.

I check the electronic dial of my room clock. 6.40. I've only been asleep for about 3 hours and 40 mins. I get up quickly shut down everything. I disconnect the main com's power. And I go back to sleep.

I need to work on my moves and stamina.

I've adjusted things.

I know you're addicted to talking to me. It's from an adjustment.

I've tested things like crazy.

When I get a positive. You feed me a negative test result.

When I get a negative. You feed me a positive result.

But the way you're so unselfish makes you hard to predict.

You're confusing me. Just when I think you're on to me. You act blur.

Or are you really not acting?

Just when I think you're attacking. And I examine you. You turn silent and everything drops to zero.

Just when I attack. You defend.

And now you run through that. You tried to consume it. That thing. You managed to finish it too. The bare effort from going through that...is something called madness by everyone. Because I made it in madness.

And now I raise my weapons.

And you make me doubt myself again.

And I wonder what do you want from me again after all these months I've been here.

I made a mistake.

I think I'm going to have to yank an arm out metaphorically. My own arm again as usual.

Sigh it always hurts so much.

Months ago.

Knock

Knock

"Come in."

A man with a golden mask walks in. He's in a suit. Sigh. Everyone wears a suit nowadays. It feels so corporate.

"Good to see you so comfortable." He says.

"I'm enjoying myself lying horizontal on this couch in my shorts and raggy t-shirt. Of course I'm comfortable. How may I help you?"
"Caustic as usual. Can't you be a bit more welcoming?"
"Not to you bud. You always give me work brother. Feel lazy lah. As you can tell."
"Sigh fine lah I'll take some books back this time."
"Yay!"
"Now are you gonna get off the couch yet?"

He holds out the pale leather travelling case. Looks more like one of the old Louis Vutton bags. But it's just a look really. Just the right size for those things.
------------

The light comes on illuminating large bookcases with strange grains to their wood. It looks like a library. Except it's a library which seems to lack books.

"I've always liked your little library. Best shelves among all of us. But you've always made it feel homey you know?"
"I try. Now you can stop boot-licking me and lets get to work."

He opens the case on the table. And I stare.

"OMIGOSH LA I THOUGHT YOU SAID LESS WORK?!"
"I said I'm taking back some books. Not less work."

He smirks. And I laugh. I never really expected less work.

"Well shall we?" I start.
"Okay first of all...Not all the books are for you. Some are actually for me."
"Good good."
"Your first book."

He plucks a book out from the case and he takes off the mask at the same time.

The book, like all the other books in this room have the same colour. Burgundy.

He places the book face down.

"Go on have a look."

I flip it. A female name. The book is thin though. Less work. I open it and find most of the pages are filled. A LOT LESS WORK.

"NICE!"
"Yes I know you're lazy."

He pulls out more and more books. It never makes any sense. The books stacked on the table are always more than what the bag looks like it can hold.

I look at the books. Very few male names adorn those books. Pressed into the leather. Names in many many languages. But generally the common name which everyone calls the subject by is in large print. However the other names are all printed fine.

Most of the books are female. Normal for a male book keeper I guess.

"You've got enough ink?"
"Always had enough."
"Good."
"And you're supposed to return the books of ..........."

He says a lot of names. Mostly people I know and I've given up to other people to take care of.

I fetch them for him.

"Wow. Amazing. You really did manage to nick this cover in."

He holds up a book. It's got the word "Princess" carved into it. Right below the person's name.

"But it's fading. You don't call her that anymore?"
"Nah it's too strange lah. There wasn't even anything."
"OK ok. Eh let me see the other one."

I grab a book from one of the shelves and he sees the name on it. And also the carved name.

"So it does hold true. When you nickname a person it can actually nick the cover. Wow."
"Whaddya know eh?"

I lay out the books in front of me. The ones for me. He's placing those back into the carrying case.

"Oh the irony."
"You noticed?" He smirks.
"Like DUH!"

I hold up another book. One that's for me. Among the names in finer print. It has the words "woman of high rank". Princess.

"You guys have a sense of humour."
"Well a morbid one. But hey at least it IS a form of humour."

Bait has been bitten. Wow. First time weih. Okay okay. Not exactly the first time. But WOW the bait was bitten hard!

-----------------------

Can't think of an update. Not exactly the picture of health at the moment. But I'll be in 1 piece tomorrow. Expect something tomorrow.

And.........

How's the design ladies and gents? Phat L3wt?

-------

OMIGOSH I SWORE IN FRONT OF SARAH!

PAI SEH! Whoops sorry wei!

I glance at her. Her serious eyes. Her face unsmiling. I look away because she's with her boyfriend. Her hair is thin in it's quantity. She's short. Her boyfriend is short too. I don't recognize her stance.

I look away and turn to Wei Yew and quicken my pace.

"KINGTON!"

I turn thinkin about how "dead fish" this is going to be. I know she looks familiar. But I have no "chicken haven" clue about who she is.
I stare. Can't help it. I give her a weak smile.

"You forgot who I am again right?"

OK THAT RINGS A BELL! WHOS NAME DO I FORGET A LOT! *shuffles cards* Well she's not Sarah,(Tan, Jane, Lim, Yong or any other variant) Pui Yean, Hui Yuih,(still can't get a fix on that girls face) Mar-xha, Shahirah(wait that girl always wear tudung hor)............So that leaves me with 2 names.

1 I couldn't recall also. But I remember something vague about the other...

Her face was serious, her eyes didn't blink, she looked at me as if I was someone with influence.

"Hi, my name is Han Mei."

"Han Mei?" I venture. She smiled. FUH GOOD GUESS. And she seemed satisfied. "Sorry weih really bad with names." Not the first time she's heard that excuse come to think of it. And not exactly the first time from me either.

So my head is kinda busted in. What can I say? I met her about 4 times only so far. And she keeps changing her stances and her looks.

And last year I went through the heaviest bits of it. This year I just ripped out a solid chunk of someone who changed my life forever too. Luckily it was just 1 person.

Sigh another check of the memory goes on too. Suddenly I'm not sure who I saw in that yellowish picture. Was it Sarah Tan or Sarah Jane? If it was neither(pretty sure it's STGC) then who could it be. And who showed me the pic? It's all so confusing.

It's been kinda bad since about the time I met Han Mei too. Suddenly the numero uno ability to memorise every single word in a conversation went down the pipe.

It took me a 1 year to figure out who was Pui Yean instead of just some girl in Balau.(it was nostalgia that solved the problem too) I spent a lot of time in f3 asking "whats the name of that girl?" pointing at Sarah too. Did that WAYYY too much. I eventually gave up because it was begining to annoy Henry.(was it Henry? or was it Colin?)

But oddly enough. Wierd pieces are still here and there. I can still remember my first conversation with Sarah and a FEW other people,(and the bag shop next to dragon-i) first time meeting some people,(Pui Yean's is missing, I think coz of msn, Li Hui also actually) some odd conversations, a lot of things I did with Sarah and Bird and Keong and Michael and bah pretty much almost everybody and some perfect snippets of people's voices.

However the only faces that stick in my head apart from the guys is very far and few between. Sarah and Pui Yean have the clearest images.(guess why. It's pretty obvious actually) Hui Yuih tak ada langsung. And everyone else somehow their faces are memorised in different parts. Some people however I give up and just plain recognize them from their stance alone.

Names and memories don't mix well either. Imagine sitting down for lunch with S207 and the only people you know are the people at the other end of the table. GEE GEE LAH. I only knew Xindee. Bad bad bad day. I stopped eating with PE5 for the same reason also. I'm kinda stumped as to who is Joanna until now. You know like...stump like Stumpy the extra short 8th dwarf that didn't appear in the Snow White movie?

But there's hope! During huddle I memorised everyone's names! Fantastic! So there's some hope for repair. But then again it's kinda tricky and messy. Like treacle. Not sure if I've eaten that before either. Can't remember if it's messy or tricky either.

Feeling old. =(
------------------------------
I'll switch templates before shoving in the links.

Sometimes when a passenger gets into my car...I don't look a them when I talk to them. The more dangerous the route and the more concerned I am about safety the less I turn to look at the person.

Well that or they press a subject that I need to lie. But I generally avoid lying anyway so sometimes there's an unhealthy pause. Some of my passengers realise that I'm probably not going to say anything and give up but...Jorrel turns to stare. Creepy weih. But generally those trips to somewhere with the right company can be quite entertaining.

"The reapers hound, why do you frown, wipe it off your face."
"Oh where did you hear that?"
"You said it before suddenly one day."
"Okayyyy....I plan on using it in a story sometime."
"But yeah anyway why the frown?"
"Just worried about something lah."
"So how are thing?"
"What things? You mean the family? Johnny says he wants to be a fireman when he grows up, Sandy wants to be a doctor and the missus is just fine."
"You're just so full of crap sometimes you know."
"And you're full of vague questions."
"So yeah how are things? You're love life."
"............."
"Tell lah."
"Bugger. Working well lah."
"Elaborate. As far as I know thaere was that little kid right on last check?"
"Well yeah there was that little kid."
"She still pinning for you?"
"I wouldn't know. Still trying to cut her off. Trying to let her down gently so she doesn't hate the other members. She got a good shot in and had 5 mins of my time. Literally 5 mins as I walked to my car. But I made sure I seemed brotherly at best. Little chiku. I hope she picked up on it. Coz Su Yi blew the ring right out of the water anyway."
"Hahaha cheap tactic lah the ring. Don't use it too much be more of a man. What about ********** anyway?"
"Well she keeps asking me out. To go all sorts of places. But I just keep dodging. Pui Yean gave a few pointers and that was it. Still avoiding her. Mostly if we need to do anything with her or get something from her...Using proxies. Such as Bird. He knows I'm in deep crap anwyay."
"Landau, Luckman, Luke and Lequare?"
*cough*"Sorry an intergalatic organisation which appeared in Deadpool comics?"
"L lah."
"Nothing lah just friends. I tried letting another person take over her keeping. But supposedly the guy failed expectations. So I'm back to work. Life is full of jerks really. She's stable and she knows my sights are set somewhere else too."
"You mentioned that before. Something about the law of life."
"Yeap."
"What about the main?"
"The main?" *blink*
*turns in seat to look at me*"The main."
"Uhhhh...We have regular contact..."
"I'm holding on to the details here you know. I'm just asking you of your opinion."
"Well..........................................."

--------------------------------------

When I didn't drive

"So Mark kena bump non-stop man today. I think cause elder didn't know my name. That and he knew no one else there also."
"Ahahaha But surely got others also right? Those that didn't own up."
"Well yeah got a few lah. There was one right in front of me but to my knowledge it was like only one half of each couple was there today."
"Mark is also single right?"
"Yeah he's single. But elder decided to poke fun at him anyway."
"You leh. Why didn't you own up?"
*cough*"Uhm there's nothing going on between us lah."
"Right..right...suuuuureeeeeee...So hows you and her?"
"Uhhh I don't do anything...much"
"Right...right...suree....sure...Yeahhh I believe that man..."

*cough* Aik he also knows. Ok...I guess it became VERY obvious ever since that day...But then again this is a quick thinker, capable leader, good planner, sharp eyed, multiple A star scoring guy whos always dragging home the credits that I'm talking to.

A lot of stuff is omitted. Of course lah. But quite funny lah kena question. Sometimes it's a lot of fun to spew rubbish. And it's really entertaining when you're stuck on the LDP or something.

Every physics law has an exception. Every one of them.

There's a negative and a positive.

The laws of time can be bent. The laws of space can be bent. The laws of chemistry can be bent.

Everything can be bent.

And in my imperfect knowledge. It blew in my face. I made my mistakes. And it seems I just made a big one.

Shoot. But it's not all bad. A further investigation reveals...only low damage was caused. Thank God Murphy's law can be bent too.

Ok gotta calm myself I know the outcome now. But I gotta smack away the clouds.
----------------

Taking LDP route to coll everyday now. Thanks Sarah. ^^

Btw I was playing around with my template and I totally messed up.(was distracted *cough* econs*cough*) So just post a comment here and I'll link you shortly k?

Mad worried.

For the first time in awhile I'm worried if I did the right thing by choosing to cross my arms and make no move.

I stayed in the shadows and drowned my presence in silence.

I made no sound.

And I'm worried that I'll have to pay for my silence.

But I can't change what I've done.

But what worries me is that I don't know what I've done fully. I know I did nothing. But I chose to do nothing so that "nothing" would have nearly no effect. But somehow I get the feeling "nothing" just caused a very very big problem.

I wish someone would just grab me by the shoulders and shout with spittle flying into my face and all "SNAP OUT OF IT YA BLOODY ***** AND KILL PROPERLY"

But I'm just so much better at killing when I'm distracted. Oh well. I just have to bide my time and see. I'm pretty sure it's not gonna get toxic on me anyway.

I failed.

Freak lah! I FAILED!

We turned right at the traffic light near the petrol stations to go to 1u and we saw a 4 lane roadblock.

I was pulled over yet again. And the guy told me I jumped a red light.

I told him I didn't. He said I did.

He said it was yellow when I crossed and it turned red. So I shouldn't have went.

I said it was green. He tsk-ed tsk-ed me and told me I'm wrong and told me to produce ID.

That was when I screwed up. No lah I did hand him my ID. But my next move was wrong.

I lost my ground when Bird said he wasn't sure if it was green. But I myself was very sure.

I let the man's body language get to me, I let my impatience get to me, and I let my feelings of self-defeat get to me.(I'm still not sure if I made the right choice for something quite major on Monday)

I knew he wanted a bribe. I could see it in his eyes. The way his hands drifted they seemed to eager. And I felt his avarice grabbing at me.

My mistake. My role is special in my work. I'm the one who reaches into other people's heads and tell them what to think. I control people when I'm working. But yet I let him run the show.

I found myself pleading with the guy for "tolong"

And I felt the pull. Every year at CNY or a family gathering. The family is full of businessmen in some trade or other. All accomplished at the art of parley. With a story or 2 to tell. Even as we were rushing home to get there in time for my grandfather's death, my cousin's driver slipped the officer a bribe for speeding at 160.

Suddenly I desired to join the ranks of a person who bribed. It quietly tickled me. But I held out I tried my best to avoid bribing. Asking the officer to let me go. Ampun.

But the greedy people threatened me with a 300 fine and a nick to my license.

The calculations ran fast.

Scenario 1

I challenge his claim. I stand my ground. I take him on and dare him to fine me.

Results: If he doesn't fine I walk away Scot free(indeterminate odds)
If he fines. I take a 300RM blow and my dad will make me pay up to half of it with my allowance. I can't afford to damage my finances so badly when I've just balanced my accounts.(He might or might not. This young officer was just looking for a quick buck, he was touching his rifle a lot absent mindedly meaning he was low of rank and never had much practical use to no use of it before. M16, A-class. Low ranker. Handle the rifle enough and you know not to pull the barrel when slung around your chest. M16s have poor durability.)

Scenario 2

I bribe. I grab as much pity as possible. Trying to act as poor as possible. But the guy knows I'm studying at Taylors. It's pretty obvious, that I'm not poor. With the car and all. And I stay in DJ. Housing blackhole for money. Second to TTDI and Tropicana only.

Results: I lose 20.

I chose scenario 2 since it had better odds. I ran the gauntlet.

Boleh tolong tak.
Bagaimana nak tolong? Lu cakap lah.
Ampun?
Bagaimana nak ampun?
.................
Lu cakap lah kamu nak buat apa.
Boleh belanja ah?
Belanja berapa?
Saya miskin lah hanya ada 60 untuk tahun ini saya takkan dapat allowance lagi.
Kamu nak belanja berapa?
20 boleh?
Boleh lah. Kamu balik kereta dulu.

20 is the minimum bribe in most cases btw. It's very hard to go 10 or under. Gotta seem REALLY poor. And driving a car. Not even the kancil. Suicide lah to ask for 10.

As I drove away. I felt the shame. The quiet gap. The lack of my passenger saying anything when he heard I bribed. Here was Bird. A Sunday school teacher. Seeing quite possibly his best friend bribe. And he knew every move every gesture for about the past 10 mins I did had been aiming at bribing. He knows I do that. The directing people's thoughts thing.

But I felt the burn. The displeasure of God for forgetting I had Him with me.

I never bribe. Ever. I always choose to suffer instead. I go through life refusing to take favours. I never bribed to get my license.

But I bribed so I could avoid potentially damaging my allowance.

I failed a test. The test was my honesty. The subject was my honesty.

As we reached the second traffic light. I told Bird how in ACTS church the pastor said "You know ah at ACA right they say Christians bribe the least. Christians rarely give bribes 1. Very hard to get a bribe from them."

I felt the shame burn multi fold. I just felt so burnt. I felt like just stopping the car and getting out to sit on the curb and beg for forgiveness.

People look up to me. People seek me to show them the way. People ask me to guide them. People ask me to teach them. People put their faith in me. People trust me with their lives. People ask me to guard them. People supplicate my counsel.

But yet I bribed.

-----------------------

I told my dad and he said I should just hold my ground. He said if they can't prove it they let you go.

My mom said serves me right and that 20 should be cut off my allowance. I paid for it with my own allowance already. And she said it's punishment for me going out late at night.

Apathetic. But I guess I've got no right to say that.

I guess I can't wallow in it. I'm about to get into the world of business anyway. But I've gotta learn from it and remember to hold my ground and never accept nor give any money anymore. Straight and honest.

I think I kinda ruined my f5 life really actually. Made it into a train wreck.

And what do I have to show for it?

I'm about as scarred as a freaking pincushion. Everytime I eat lunch with someone new they're bound to ask about the left hand.

I'm sending you ahead. I'm not going to ask because I want you to go without me. I want you to enjoy yourself. I don't want to repeat any mistakes anyway.

I saw you under the stars

And I caught you wanting them all
Desire can change who you are
You're so much better off
When nothing weighs you down

Fly higher without me, without experiencing the burden I unleash on you. So cast me off. And leap.

Chase the stars. Enjoy yourself. I know you'll have it better without me.

I'll be back when you're done. And when I can lift you up again.

So arrivederci. And enjoy yourself.

When nothing weighs you
you're better off
casting off
you're better off
when nothing weighs you down

------------------------------

On a side note...EMILY GOING MELAKA! Zzzz why so late only tell lah. Eh we friends or not wei?

For something syok first though. Hop over to Chee Ping's blog for an awesome political joke.



If you didn't get it...Oh well.
------------------------------------

Beh syok for 2 things...

Thursday got lessons again. Friday need complete and submit UCAS.

Beh syok.

---------------------------------------

"So what do you think of Kiera Knightly? Hot?"
"Uhhhh Pretty lah..."
"But not hot right? Yeah I thought so. She just isn't as hot as Megan Fox."
"Oh the transformers woman."
"You think she's hot right?"
"Uhh guess so."
"Sigh...What about Jessica Alba?"
"I guess she's hot."
"She's dahm hot lah! Eh you guy or not?"
"Of course I'm a guy! Genes and well...Gear says I'm male."
"Ok ok"[Rubs temples] "I know you're called a Lustless. A killer instinctless, lustless, greedless wierdo. Lustless philosophy. Boring lah you. Dunno how to talk about chicks one."
"Can't help it larh! Just the way I am. Talk about something else lah."
"Sigh you even threw out the bloodlust too. Boring lah you. No killing urge. Don't check out girls. Don't swear also. Don't listen to nor tell dirty jokes anymore. What happened to you lah?"
"Well I dunno I guess I just saw the Way, the Truth and the Light. That and I kinda like the lustless philosophy."
"You're just wasting your eyeballs man. Beh syok lah talking to you."

Seem familiar. This happened too often in f5...As a result no one bothers to talk about my taste in girls anymore.

And fuyoh they also complained about how I picked 1 girl over another. On the first time seeing the other.(ancient history btw) They complained as if I sold my kingdom for a donkey lah that 1.

So yes I can't talk about chicks. And it's saddddd BLOBLOOOBLOOOO!

So what is Stephanie is right and my time really is running out?

The hourglass is empty now.

So what if it's last minute?

So what if it's not my crew?

So what if it's not for me to be there originally?

I don't think it's right.

So what if Lesley is encouraging me to do so?

So what if the odd circumstances of Vidya's dissapearance left me with a possibility?

So what if the programs are ending?

So what if I have a choice to go?

So what if it's just around the corner?

So what if I have a 2 suits prepped for events like this?

So what if Laura says I should ask?

So what if by going I could possibly use the atmosphere to my advantage?

So what...so what if I keep telling myself these things? You can cheat the world but most importantly you must be able to cheat yourself. Wise words always repeated to me by Ms. Chian whenever I tell her I don't study.

I can't cheat myself my heart is in my throat. But duty comes first. And it's my duty not to go. So that the greatest joy will be felt. I'll try some other time.

So I lay waiting for my next opurtunity. And hopefully things will pass. But I still feel ill at ease for declining. But then again...As Lesley said...No way to retrieve it from Vidya's empty house.

But the possibilities bug me.

Oh well. Time to kill with the bird!

Another post later on since my bud no longer has exams anyway. Wait we all don't have exams anymore! Oh yeah hor lol chem. Sorry guys XD

Right hand feels sluggish and undexterous. Like moving through water. As if my right hand had only the dexterity of my left. Something's not right. Was like that throughout the whole of yesterday night when I was trying to type. Thats why I replied slowly. Echo maybe?

Need to write my UCAS statement already. Anybody can give some pointers on what to write about?

Sigh yet again. No translation. Bird arh bird...

Turns out he didn't know anyway but he did his best to help translate. So I got my weekly dose anyway. Not bad lah. And I managed to understand more of it on my own anyway. Translator working well again. Didn't feel sick after service too.

Today...No movie. Jorrel too picky.

Over the phone last night

"Balls of fury? Sarah said it's really funny."
"My brother said it sucks."
"Okay.............Beowulf?"
"I heard a lot of people say it sucks."
"Then what?"
"Shoot shoot lorh."
"SIGH. Ok lah I'll let the others know."

Grumbled a lot about not being able to watch movie in the end. Cause Jorrel WAYYYYY too picky. He said if movie sark. He wants us to pay/he won't come.

Really ended up shoot shoot. So apart from shooting. Which I did ok...Managed to unfeeder-ise myself. Then played dota. 1 game farm to fast kena hunt
then we all quit coz kena own really badly. Then the next game Jorrel owned. I did well. Bird farmed the whole game and didn't own which was VERY STRANGE.

---------------------------------

I was looking a picture. Her smile. A picture of her and another girl...Her hair framing her face nicely in the picture. Her smile a brilliant smile reflects her joy at the time.

Mom looked over my shoulder.

Who's that? Who's the pretty girl?

[cogs of a brain grinding together I think the chain broke too]

Uhm a friend...[OMIGOSH!!!!! SHE'S GONNA FRY ME!][alt+tab]

Oh okay.

[exhales]

Checking Sarah's blog to see if she's updated really lol. Tense moments in the house. Didn't want the talk! Didn't want the dad looking at me sternly in the eye and saying "no going out with girls till end of A-lvls". We both know it's a guideline not a rule. He nearly says so himself anyway. So girls exhale.

Oh and Sarah my mom thinks you're good looking too.

-------------------------------------------------

OMIGOSH BARU OWN AT DOTA! NICE! Uhh sorry Sarah about just now yeah, gaming so a bit distracted.

Sigh boredom is going to set in tomorrow. Not much to do since exams ended.

There was something interesting I wanted to blog about but they kept calling me to kill. So I forgot what was it. When I remember larh.

Uh wait I think we hit a bump. It isn't a girl in a-lvls larh. So few girls in a-lvls actually.

Does that make life seem easier for you?

FILE CRAWL!

Blood in the white sink. My eyes have turned blue around the edges of my brown iris. Heavy fatigue. The rest of my eyes is either filled with the network of red veins or turning blue too.

I'm washing the blood from my hand. My hand was dripping with blood from the cut just now. While reading an sms I used the back of my hand to open the toilet door. The cut was bad, in seconds there was enough blood to drench my finger.

Earlier that morning. I woke up from heavy nightmares about thinking skills papers. Normal lah exam type nightmares. Normally happens about a whole month after a paper.

But it kinda said volumes about the paper I'd be taking in about 2 hours time.

If the paper was a monster and we were all peasants standing up to the monster in Discussion Room 2......

I'd say the room was smeared with blood by 10am. I guess we fought more like pheasants than peasants.

BUBBLE!! ARGH STUPID BUBBLE!

Yeah back to it. So we were there. Doing stuff which required constant concentration. For hours on end. So understandably my eyes turned red. I forgot to blink. Yes you can forget to blink as I learned while studying Sejarah for SPM.

From like 10-9...Everyone forgot lunch too...

We just sorta spent the whole day mad. Taking lives non stop ^^

Eventually we lost 1 round and JJ was too pissed. So he went to play Call of Duty 2.

Everyone agreed...That the way he was killing...It was obvious he was pissed...

And I finally won against Fang for once! YAY! Always get some crappy lineup that makes it a freaking miracle to win. For once they got the crappy lineup! And it was when my finger was bleeding. All I did was wash it. Then I licked it and it closed very fast.

Day ended with us going to eat at McD.

Then was up till 3 with Kurt killing. Okay man we gotta cut back I think.

Eyes still red today.

------------------------

"How do you know?"

Well I checked out some things and I found...Someone researching Lesley. Woah. It's not the someone checking out on Lesley struck me. It was the who. That was kinda shocking for me. Just remembered it. I dismissed it back then but when I remember it...Suddenly I'm amazed.

I think there is something I can do after all.

Handy lah when you listen to gossip about yourself.

Disclaimer: I'm in a good mood. It's just that I felt like telling this story thats all. So I'll pass on the "Kington cheer up you've got a lot to be happy for! AS is ending tomorrow!" and all forms of cheering up messages.

Remembered this story while was watching a Beowulf trailer on youtube, while reading an sms and listening to the trailer's song.
----------------------------
6.55 forward momentum disrupted. Alteration of course. Reflexes do all they can to avoid getting impaled.

Eye1
2 school girls. Tiled floor. Reverse lights of a Mercedes. Rear bumper.

No mobility. STAND. No mobility. STAND. Difficult. Things feel out of joint. STAND. And I rise.

Eye 1
Marble, peach coloured walls and ceiling, expensive wall fixtures, a feeling of a very wide open space: air currents an open glass door.

Wood, a hard surface, couch. I'm lying on a couch.

Eye 2
Hues of pink. Hues of red. Hues of fuscia. Panic. Pain. Confusion.

People are panicking around me. They're also confused as to what to do. And the red. My pain.

My head is muddled. I've been pumping natural painkillers for about 2 mins now. It's all a blur. I'm not sure whats happening. I can't focus.

They bring me water and I refuse it. I ask them to twist my torso. My spine is out of alignment. They twist me and I feel it pop. I settle into ease as the output increases again.

Someone speaks to me. Asking me for contact details. I focus enough to give some numbers. Then I settle in delirium. My wounds are swabbed with yellow water. I don't feel anything. Could be from the painkillers. Could be the nerves are damaged at the ends. I lose focus and I run on autopilot. A insanely complex automatic response system that requires no mental effort.

Eye 1
Transport. Limping. Blood rolling. Back seat of car. Blur outside world.

Going to the hospital.

Eye 1
Nurse. Doctor. Wheelchair. Cold air. Cold water. Steel basin. Antiseptic smell. Poor air current. Small room. Pink curtains.

Eye 2
Yellow. Purple. Maroon.

Humour laughter. Tending to my wounds. I can't move. Pain. And I sign some papers. And I lose concentration again.

Eye 1
Bed. Chair. Phone ringing. White table. Grey table. Light peach wall. Night sky. No stars. No moon.

I pick and it's my sister on the phone. We talk. I'm lucid. After I put the phone down, I'm fully aware of the pain. Or the strange lack of it. Could be the painkillers the doctors put in.

I'm shirtless cause of the sheer number of wounds. I have a pair of shorts on just for decency's sake. I examine them for the first time. Blood is flowing slowly from a few and I wipe the extras away. I struggle around the room because it's still difficult to stand. I turn on the aircond to chill the wounds.

In the chair. I dial a number. And my brain lets go of another wave of hormones.

Eye 1
Dark. 12:50 in black on a yellow digital dial. Immobile. Shapes in the dark.

Eye 2
Blue. Black. Red.

It's cold. I'm shirtless. There's no pillows. I'm lying on my bed. I can't move. There's a voice on the phone. The painkillers are fading...

We talk. In random circles. I tell the person I'm ok. We just talk about random things. How the room looks like. How are our families. Hows life as a much older person. Hows life as a younger person. Our age gap gives us something to talk about.

The painkillers quit at about 1. Sometimes I interrupt the conversation with sharp gasps for air as I struggle to deal with the pain assaulting me everywhere. It's everywhere. I'm wounded from head to toe.

We stay at the phone until 2. My friend has to get up early for tuition tomorrow. I reassure the fellow that I'll be fine. I won't be able to feel the pain in my sleep anyway.

That one conversation with my bud made me forget the pain for awhile. And in the dark even as I continue my struggle with the pain. The comfort of my friend's voice over the phone was enough to distract me. And remembering what we talked about distracted me long enough to fall asleep.

Next day I awoke and found myself stuck to the sheets. I ripped myself off the sheets. I washed the excess blood thats not part of the scabs. And went to school. I managed to get a friend to send me to the doctor again.

Even if I bled non-stop for 2 days. Even if recovery lasted nearly 2 months. It was great to have those 2 fellas. Maybe I never said it. But I don't think I can ever say it enough. Thanks guys!
-----------------

Video prowl!

I'm single. No kidding. And it's a little obvious larh...

I was/am also always single. Me and Kar Leng same boat although she might have hooked up since the last time I checked but that's not really a big part of my business.

I know there are girls interested in me.(although not in the massive quantities like Kin Keong) Ego talk aside. This is stuff other people tell me. However since no one does anything. I just buat tak tahu. Saves a lot of time and trouble.

And in the words of a friend, "too unique to predict" well yes...Musta been a bit of a shock to see me react so non-chalantly when I was told Lesley hooked up. See la I told you guys di don't try to predict lerh I keep an ear out for rumours about myself. I guessed so a few days in advance lerh. I knew and I wasn't bothered. Zzzzz.

I've also stopped all those late night conversations over the phone. Most of the phone calls I get and do after the sun goes down is..."Eh bird want go supper?" "Want dota?" And those conversations in those chat channels and stuff. Guy talk really.

Ok lah that and "Hey Sarah, you wanted a ride tomorrow right?" that and the highly incorrigible conversations with Pui Yean after asking for something that I didn't know like Kevin's phone number or smth.

So I bet you're gonna ask if life is boring?

Not really larh quite fun lorh with bird, penyu, keong and jorrel. And somehow I'm not really too bothered with the dating scene lerh. If the time is right it's right lorh. Kinda swamped with exams anyway.

Sure it's all guys mostly...But eh only with guys can you suggest doing crazy things. Like driving to Subang just for a burger...Eh it's a good burger!

I know I've been updating very infrequently lately. For 2 reasons really. I'm pretty sure only 1 person really reads almost every post(or is it really every?) and well the fella busy lah. Exams lah everyone dilanda exams. So if the fella everyday read and everyday I post long post the fella no need study lah. And the other one is lately a bit motivation update. Dahm quiet lah. Got a lot of material to use also.

On a side note...My dad just told me to stop going to Protestant churches coz he calls them deviant. -_- 2nd visit and this happens. Looks like I won't be seein you there for awhile Mark. At least till I can find a solution. Looks like St. Xavier/Ignatius here I come.

Comedy post I guess if you can see the humour in it. Not sure if I can make it funny enough anyway.
-----------------------

32nd October 2007, Monday

Dear Sir,
Just as a formal note for you Sir call it internal memo if you wish.

I'm letting off/redeploying the whole tropical regions of EYES/Stalkers call them whichever name you wish.

They're being redeployed to the currently understaffed Middle World section, 4 seasons sections, and 8 seasons sections.

I've contacted Lauren and told her and she agreed. The lack of EYES/Stalkers would be replaced in those regions by detectors.

You're sincerely,

Ackrell Signahl
(EYES CHIEF/ THE HOUND)

In the office which looks like a stock scene from "the office".

"Hey got your memo" [says the man waving a yellow piece of paper]
"Oh very well sir, I trust there is no problem."
"Well no, not really just a question of 'why?' really."
"That sir, would have to be about the humidity in the current tropical regions. It's raining sir. Raining in quantities as the men and women from those regions would call dogs and cats."
"It's raining human pets?"
"Well apparently it's human for 'A lot of rain' "
"How does that really affect us? We've got men in Andaran a city where it pours non-stop...For years!"
"We'll sir, tropical countries tend to be annoyingly humid with all the rain and heat. The rain is also fairly inconsistent causing confusion among men if they should wear the full dry suit or the full wet suit. As we both know the current model of multi-weather Stalker suit is absolutely good for nothing apart from batting practice."
"Batting practice?"
"Shin guards and helmets make very good baseball bats and baseballs."
"Well good to see those suits are getting some action. Well carry on about your reasons."
"Well...The next part is kind of about the occupational hazards of our men."
"Whats so difficult about stalking really? Sure we give them a fancy name. Bah EYES. And fancy equipment. But whats so hard about waiting in a bush in an acclimatised suit? The fancy suit makes things even easier nowadays apparently. With it's full cloaking abilities and built in binoculars into the helmets."
"Well...See here sir...Just to quote a problem...The bugs sir..."
"Bugs?"
"Yes the local insect life. They tend to seek out the warmth of our men's suits. They like to infest the well...'Entry points'"
"Oh!"[chuckling]
"Well yes, some men have reported 'swallowing mosquitoes'."
"PITY WEIH!"[continues laughing]
"And yes well...An EYES unit in south east asia reports an unusual injury."
"How unusual?"
"It's gotta be a first sir never heard about anything like it before."
"Is it funny?"
"Yes, very funny sir. The nurses and doctors in the infirmary won't stop laughing about it."
"Go on. Stop teasing me."
"Well...See here. You know the new models for the helmets we use have MUPs in them right?"
"Mental Uplink Plates? You mean those little bits of metal which touch the temples on the inside of the helmet? Those chafe don't they I always hated those. Always opted for the voice command models."
"Oh nowadays people apply gels sir...Reduces chafing..."
"So I'm a dinosaur I don't get out much these days ok? And Assault suits have mental nodes."
"Well ok...Anyway as I was saying. Our man here in south east asia decided to us a wet suit because he believed it was going to rain like mad that day."
"Wet suit on land...That bad huh?"
"Well it's for the rain. Keeps it out really well. Turns out it didn't rain. And he overheated and steamed in the suit."
"Injuries?"
"Well...Actually just one. He got electrocuted. By the MUPs"
"How?"
"Well the cable behind one of the MUPs was protruding a bit so he kinda short circuited the suit. He lost a bit of hair from the electric burns and passed out from the shock...No one noticed till they went to pick him up at he shift change. He was basically lying prone in a bush for a few hours because he passed out and the suit shorted out. So basically he couldn't have moved but that was ok anyway because he passed out."
"OMIGOSH! SERIOUSLY DAHM SAD WEIH!"
"Well yes...He was sweating so badly inside the suit...They had to drain him sir. They medics on site were afraid they would get electrocuted so they disconnected his power source first. They then proceeded to yank off his boots and release the catches on his suit. It rather looked like it was raining around the feet when they stood him upright."
"So how is he?"
"Apart from being highly embarrassed and a bit of heatstroke he'll be ok."
"Good to know. And it's nice to see you're doing well in the florist department."
"Florist department?"
"There Stalkers and stalk marh."
"I don't think I get it sir."
"Florists sell flowers by the stalk. Don't you get it?"
"Err...Haha sir?"
"No one seems to get that one. Sigh."

---------------------

I think it's funny really. But if it isn't just let me know. I'll try to work on my sense of humour next.

Irritated. Dad took a nap saying we were going for supper later. So I turned down Joel.

Dad woke up. Chased me off the com. Said later might go. Then when I was all settled in the "He say only lah mode" with the newspaper on my lap he said, "so where?"

9:45 LA DEI GO WHERE?

See ham ok change to si ham. "No don't try to be funny getting hepititis so young."

Williams? "The place filthy enough to give you hepititis."

"can go pizza uno lah they close at 11" "they close kitchen at 10 lah" "No lah 11 lah" "Everyone closes kitchen at 10 lah" "Black canyon?" "They close kitchen at 10 lah!"

Hungry di.

-_-......Potong steam....

At 10:45 "so want go fat?" Bird's typo for eat.

"ask parents first" my reply.

My dad voiced no objections the first few(more than one) times I told him. Was doing some stuff at the same time which didn't require much brain power. He normally talks to me while I'm doing that kinda stuff and demands very very technical, intelligent and well thought out answers.

When he saw my house keys. "Eh where you going?" "Find food" "tell your mom"

"you're not going anywhere"

I flipped my keys and went to my room. Irritated arh. Potong my steam. Dad don't care also. Irritated arh.



Release irritation through that. Random music thats fast paced. Lyrics that don't really mean much either.

Still hungry. Zzzzz need eat lives.

On a server used by many. But location unknown.

4 am. Shifting my shoulders continuosly. I've got a red line running horrizontally from the edges of my eyes dashing towards the irises. Normal for a guy who can't say he actually slept at all the night before. I've been awake for 21 hours now if you count the previous night. But if you don't it's way over 24. My left hand is rubbing the area between my lower lip and my chin and occasionally tapping it in the centre. A copy of a habit my old friend uses when she's thinking. My hair is pretty much like a storm since I dried it at 12:30 am and didn't bother to straighten it. I stare at the screen intently wondering what this fella is going to say next.

"Seriously man pray about it."

It's drizzling outside. A chilly zephyr blows at my toes.

I do pray about it. But I pray that things turn out in the best possible way for all of us. And not just how I want it.

"Then ask if it's right."

I never thought about that.

"If it's not right there's no point."

Thats true. I've forgotten the most important thing. Doing something only if it's worth it.

So I've gotta check first. But it's unlikely to be anyway. I'm just probably gonna wait for the next request/demand/order/command to come in. Super chilling lifestyle.

"You've changed a lot these 2 years."

Well yeah I've changed like mad but it isn't because of that person.

"Not because of her it's just that you've changed. You've changed a lot over this period of 2 years."

Well it has probably more to do with God than anything else. But then again thats just the way I am changing non stop.

"You've changed for the better."

So I guess there is hope. But whats my next move? Kinda stuck in a deadlock anyway. Nothing to do till exams end.

I'm just shaking legs till my next sign appears or something. Boring lah. Nothing is going to come in till Nov.15 too. I know none of us are going to make any moves until my exam is over at least. So really shake legs with this chilling lifestyle.
----------------------

On a side note my sis won the Hugo comment competition on Nicole Kiss's blog. 100ml @@ wah. Yer.

I was a fool to think I could escape my own narcolepsy.

Part of the reason I can actually stay up till 4 to begin with...Is because I destroy my own sleeping clock.

But I didn't break it this time around. And well...Last night was bad very bad.

I pulled out my econs notes. I had planned only to read Ms. Chian's compressed notes. Not the lecture slides. Which is fairly little. I finished the first set.

And as I proceeded to the second set.............Yes I fell asleep that abruptly. I woke up much later trying to remember what day and why was my orange lamp on and I realised what I'm supposed to be doing. 1 page later. Same thing happened.

I went about this cycle waking countless times last night alone in a desperate struggle to finish the notes. Eventually I woke up for good at 7 wrapped myself in my blanket sat cross-legged on my bed and did some speed-reading just to refresh what didn't fall out of my head since trials.

I fell asleep just like that except that I didn't hit the bed. I noticed I was only asleep for 5 mins and I steeled myself and did my best to finish. I read everything in about an hour including the bouts of the nacrolepsy symptom. Skipping the parts heavily embeded in my head.

At 8 I got ready for coll and finished prep at 8:30 reached coll and got to the hall and when I sat down.

"You may begin."

Begin I didn't. What I did was pray. Then I did my best to turn the paper inside out. Paper 1 was ok la. Paper was soft and not colourfull all black and white. But paper 2 I couldn't find the points in my own essay. I was definately answering the question but I don't know if I was answering in the way expected.
----------------

I thought I needed to drive south today. Both the journey south and back. But turns out no. And they left without me either. Sigh.

So I'm all alone today. Aiseh any ideas what to do?
-----------------

On a side note. I finally farmed properly. Much to everyone's shock and horror. -_- is it that rare for me?

1pm. [The door creaks open]

"Is Ms. Chian here?"
"Oh hello Kington."

I asked all the things which I couldn't quite grasp in the MCQs for econs today. I managed to finish everything from 2002-2007 quite a feat. Had very very painfull sleep for it last night.

"The only thing we ever study for is Econs really. Because it's the only thing we can't get A."
"What about physics and the other subjects? Surely they're harder?"
"We've figured out how to get A for those subjects. But for Econs we've been writing exactly what is expected of us but somehow we're still not raking in the A's"

I've been asleep for too long. I feel rusty. I feel like I've got jelly for legs and lead pipes for arms.

"Kington you better get an A. I forecasted you an A you know?"

Most people don't use my name unless it's necessary. It's not that easy to pronounce really because no one gets ANY practice with it. There's only 1 Kington really. So when she said it I knew she meant it.

"Kington if you don't get an A I'm gonna take 10% of your income for the rest of your life!"
"Eh Teacher if you take 10% of my income if I get A then it's good la coz you're going to get quite a bit. If I get B then it probably means you're going to get peanuts."
"Permanant life tax if you get anything less than an A. Tax for life."

Joker la. But thanks. Thanks for the encouragement really. You've seen the rubbish I hand in to you. You've seen my unseriousness in your class. But yet you still believe in me. Just like Jesus...

It's been so long. So long since someone who knows the full depth of my abilities trust in me. Thank you.

I'm going to forget the fatigue. Forget the cold. Forget what has been distracting me for the past few months and just buckle down and tear the information from the ink and paper lying on my desk.

And stuff it down my throat with an antacid and a glass of water.

But first I gotta wake up the other Aspects. They've been sleeping since SPM.

But thank you Ms Chian. Just you saying that you forecasted me an A is enough to stir me from my deepest sleep. To know you handled all that crap I gave you when doing assignments and still believe I've got it to get an A. Thank you. And if you still want the 10% after I get the A....Can bargain arh? XD. I fix your problem you gimme discount boleh tak?

Seriously thank you. Faith like that in me keeps me going. I wanna come out from the hall tomorrow saying "Eh teacher looks like you don't get your 10%."

And 1 month later. "Teacher you really dont get your 10%"

And seriously thank you to you guys who keep giving me all sorts of encouragement, from Chee Ping the everready battery for inspiration and motivation to my great buddy whos always sending me those nice quotes. Thanks!

It's been so long since anyone has put any trust in my work. I can feel the other bits waking up already.

*beep beep* And the car starts.

Wokay yesterday it was the other passenger. I've only got 2 fairly common female passengers really.

Yesterday I sent the other one home. Normally she only needs me every thinking skills paper literally.

Before that I finished my Thinking Skills paper still not entirely sure if what I wrote was the answers but pretty much plausible answers.

After getting my CD player back from Fang I went over to the SAM block to take a leak.(was on the way if you're wondering cause I went to my locker)

I was wondering where to put my "secret weapon" so I tossed it very lightly onto the top of the lockers lodged between the toilets. Then I head a familiar "fabric brushing against 2 surfaces as it falls between them" sound. OOPS!

Then I though nvm la go pee. So I took a leak met Liang Hoong. Then when I came out I took a good hard look at my problem. 3 lockers. The 1 on the left and the 1 on the right had all 5 holes compartment. Therefore possibly filled with books or possibly even bags. BAD. The middle 1 had a open top compartment. Easier. Slightly.

So I spread my shoulders. Opened my arms. Adjusted my neck. Spread my legs. Picked my teeth. Clipped my nails. Gelled my hair. Sprayed on some Hugo XY. Called in the cavalry...Eh wait where was I? Oh yeah...Took a deep breath. And I yanked the centre locker stack out. Eh not that heavy eh. I looked up just to check if there was any Taylors staff around in case I get slapped with vandalism. I saw 1 so I tried to gesture for him to help. He shook his head. -_- evilllllll.

I resumed pulling it out nevertheless. Loads of scraping noises. When there was enough space for me to fit my hand through I reached in and plucked out my "secret weapon". Then I realised. I need to shove it back in.

Pulling it out was pretty easy I gotta admit. But sliding it back in. Since I couldn't guide it and the spot where the locker stacks are placed is slightly elevated...I leaned on the locker stack. Crossed my legs for balance and kicked the thing back in. Didn't take long. But while I was kicking Sarah came by. Lim btw. OOPS. Eh this toilet popular arh. I felt like the cookie monster caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar. PAI SEH.

"Eh KINGTON CHILL!!!!"
[looks up with the stressed coz I'm trying to get the locker back in/guilty look for yanking out the locker anyway]
"It wasn't that hard you know thinking skills. Don't have to get all stressed over it and start kicking lockers."
"Ummm I dropped something behind the lockers."
"Oh."

Well if you pass by the lockers on 1st floor of the SAM block check out the centre stack. Notice how the bottom has no more paint? Yes. Thats what my kicking did to it.

Okay so my passenger wasn't hungry. She remembered to eat lunch after all. But I've got priority! So I took the toll route home and stopped by KFC(Benji proud or not?) and got myself something.

KFC zinger meal.

Sent her home. And then when I got home...*VOOSH!* Suddenly rain like mad. Oh ter-GG. So I sat in the car and ate 2 wedges. When I realised that it's probably not gonna get any lighter. I decided to run for it. Lazy use "secret weapon" for such a short distance too.

I got into a run. Then I slowed down. I remembered all tiles for a front yard. Makes for a very bad pratfall. So I had a brisk walk in the rain to the front door >< Brisk and wet.

Sat around for awhile typed yesterday's blog post. Then talked to bird about freerice. His level was 29 and it came as a nasty shock to him cause he thought my english wasn't that good after all. I told him I got 32. Much later to his irritation. I earned 420 grains. And I had 39 on the score level. Eat your heart out Bird! Buahahaha.

Today...

Men and woman with great things before them file into respective halls heads bowed some with eyes closed in silent prayers. There's an air of tension about them. Some eyes dart uneasily about the place. It's the same everywhere.

It's the begining of the end....For SAM(Self Abuse Matriculation)

In Taylor's students stepped in at 11 smth for ESL.
In Sunway students stepped in at 9 for General Paper.
In Taylor's students stepped in at 1:30 for Thinking Skills.

Pens gripped...They marched...I mean wrote.
Papers drawn...They wrote.
Heads bowed...They wrote.

But things you notice and remember in the hall:

Nicholas Quah is left handed. And coincidentally the guy next to him too.

Sarah Tan has 2 blogs in reality instead of just one.

Beatrice has some strange extremely thick shoes which look like they're comprised out of cork.

Eng Joe's slippers are really shot up.

I can't see Charlie from my seat coz she's too skinny.(or it could be a vampire trick)

Andrew from PE5 has really baggy jeans.

And last but not least. All 3 batches took 3 different papers today. But we're all using the same answering method.

Don't know the answer. Write rubbish. Complete and utter rubbish. And hope to get lucky. Really lucky. Like hitting Triple 20 on the dartboard.

But eh wait we do that for every paper right?

Oh yeah hor Thinking Skills, ESL and General Paper automatically give us a license to crap in the essay like structure of the exams. However other papers hand us a license to crap with "At your own risk" in fine print.

Nice. Very.

------------------

Oh a bit late but here's something to test your vocabulary while donating food.

http://freerice.com/index.php

Depressing yes. But don't worry a lot of people get low levels while doing it. Don't ask Charlie, Nicholas, Yvonne, Michelle or me when doing it whats our level.

We depress people. And in my case. I depress myself. But YAY I DEPRESSED BIRD!

On the top left there is an invitation to a post exams party.(come lah Sarah if you've got nothing better to do that day) bottom left is a postcard with and advertisement for the new evening service at Campus City. Thats a booklet of stuff. Not sure what it's really talking about. Just some random articles which I haven't read through yet.

Well well what do we have here a double ended highlighter. A quick explanation of the contents of the bag and a checklist of destressing activities.

Here's an alternative use for the bag in case of extreme stress. Breathe into the bag if hyperventilating.

On an unrelated note I've got 3 presents in my room for Bird's CF. He bought them I just gave the advice relating to what to buy.

DAD: Hey presents I love presents.[Grabs one] I'm going to open it.

ME: O_O[stone stone stone]

DAD: Just kidding.

ME: [Breathes into the bag to calm down]