I can't help
Had a lot of questions about myself answered. Somehow the guy just knew all I wanted to ask. Even said it all before I asked.
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"You are the hope so let no tears fall"
A chunk of a litany. It surfaced only recently. Sadly it didn't come with the title of it. So it's still a mystery whats the title of the whole thing. But more and more pieces are appearing. Sometimes it comes in a rush of them. Sometimes it's slow.
Whats the meaning of it?
A person once asked when was the last time I let the tears flow. Let emotion tear out of me from the eyes weeping and showing the emotion fully.
It's rare for me because of all the adjustments. Emotion isn't something that comes easy sometimes.
But to weep. It's difficult.
Not because I lack the componenets to do so.
It's because I'm not allowed that luxury. For the pieces to continue fitting I can't.
Being part of the best hopes for mankind. Akin to a shining light in the darkness. As inspiring as a cripple walking.
Having joy in the pits and tight fights of life. My life the one with the harder fights and stronger nightmares.
As long as I keep it under wraps and I can show that managing it isn't a problem...There won't be a problem.
I can keep providing the faith. The hope.
But seeing the other side of my coin only leads despair. If I can lose hope and faith. A lot of people would give up. Because it just shows even the shining example can screw up. With that every other candle help in hope would be blown out.
Keeping the all important tools and skills running at peak performance is the best way to avoid problems.
But now I'm begining to find inadequacy....But I will persevere because I'm the hope.
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"Hey I heard thats coming. Aren't you going to help out Sarah this time?"
"I can't that little bit is out of both my control and my reach."
"Still quite amazed you managed to pull that off last year. Quite amazing."
"I do try."
So yes for once I'm finally useless in the face of a problem. Sigh. Time to go get cracking on building more stuff.
-----------------------
"You are the hope so let no tears fall"
A chunk of a litany. It surfaced only recently. Sadly it didn't come with the title of it. So it's still a mystery whats the title of the whole thing. But more and more pieces are appearing. Sometimes it comes in a rush of them. Sometimes it's slow.
Whats the meaning of it?
A person once asked when was the last time I let the tears flow. Let emotion tear out of me from the eyes weeping and showing the emotion fully.
It's rare for me because of all the adjustments. Emotion isn't something that comes easy sometimes.
But to weep. It's difficult.
Not because I lack the componenets to do so.
It's because I'm not allowed that luxury. For the pieces to continue fitting I can't.
Being part of the best hopes for mankind. Akin to a shining light in the darkness. As inspiring as a cripple walking.
Having joy in the pits and tight fights of life. My life the one with the harder fights and stronger nightmares.
As long as I keep it under wraps and I can show that managing it isn't a problem...There won't be a problem.
I can keep providing the faith. The hope.
But seeing the other side of my coin only leads despair. If I can lose hope and faith. A lot of people would give up. Because it just shows even the shining example can screw up. With that every other candle help in hope would be blown out.
Keeping the all important tools and skills running at peak performance is the best way to avoid problems.
But now I'm begining to find inadequacy....But I will persevere because I'm the hope.
----------------------------
"Hey I heard thats coming. Aren't you going to help out Sarah this time?"
"I can't that little bit is out of both my control and my reach."
"Still quite amazed you managed to pull that off last year. Quite amazing."
"I do try."
So yes for once I'm finally useless in the face of a problem. Sigh. Time to go get cracking on building more stuff.
