Sept 21st
It's Sept 21st. Been a fast year eh? Made many new friends, learned lotsa new things, perfected some tricks, got a license, gained a few valuable insights into my purpose in life too and started college. Now just 4 and a half years from the end of my education. (AND I SURE CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUTA STUDYING UGH!! ISH!!)
But then I think again. Where do I stand?
This sudden introspective glance was brought on by my friendster. Occasionally la I look through the birthdays and I saw "Cheryl" pop up. Common name. Don't bother gossiping.
I remember the first day we met in Taylors. I was helping her out. And she said I was nice enough for helping her out.(Although my new found friends left me with her after giving her a warning about me."TAKE CARE BEWARE OF HIM DON'T LET HIM DO ANYTHING")(And me of her "SHE'S TAKEN KINGTON FORGET ABOUT IT!")
I stoned and laughed and she just smiled. We talked, we worked. And I missed the bus home but hitchiked a ride from Michael.
As the sunlight faded I said something I won't repeat...A bit personal la...
She called me philosophical. I guess when you hardly talk for 2 whole days. You spout WAYYY load of crap on the first ready ear.
In the end wayyyy after that we hardly saw each other hardly spoke. But then I heard she broke up with her boyfriend.
And I tried to use whatever Joel had taught me. This was before I asked Yiyun for anything. Don't ask what.
Right there and then she tried to use me to get to Fang and I didn't notice. When Fang said no to a favour I asked regarding her, I kinda daydreamed during the lesson(physics I think) I ran through all the snippets of conversation which had her name and came up with a whoooooooooooolllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeee bloody long list of problems. (instability in a lot of ways, and a few other undisclosable things only for my records only)(or for a funnier explanation ask Adrian from PM1)
Eventually she agreed to go out with me I needed the air and she needed nail polish purchased in KL not being local and all. Go figure.
I thought I had Mandarin on that day. Which I didn't(cause it was supposed to be thurs everyone made that mistake) so I went to Peggy's house. For the last time and we talked crap till my Mandarin was supposedly over. (ponteng got me a 95% attendance rate in the end -_- shows on cert) Totally wasted the opurtunity too. Aiya magneto corneto leh.
We never contacted each other after that. And I totally forgot about her as she probably did about me. And from what I know now she's in some former frozen wasteland at the moment. With a new boyfriend joining her next year.
Uhhh yeah. Well if she could see me now. From nice guy who was like a knight in shining armor helping her out and all...Always listening nicely to her problems...Reassuring her...To now a guy thats been broken yet struggling to stand no matter what. Would she be dissapointed? Should I be dissapointed for deviating from my self goals so much in such a short time?
Nah she's too far away to care and I don't think she'd notice since I don't really feel too hung up either exams around the corner. Just slightly bothered and disturbed. But who knows. And who knows where she is?.....
But then I remember Pastor Sandra saying a long time ago. "It doesn't matter what you are or what you were as long as you're trying to improve....people will see it. So keep at it. Hopefully things will change."
Hopefully. Surely. But I guess the situation has changed. I'm no longer dependant on the temporary. Investing in the Eternal truly is the best investment indeed.
But then I think again. Where do I stand?
This sudden introspective glance was brought on by my friendster. Occasionally la I look through the birthdays and I saw "Cheryl" pop up. Common name. Don't bother gossiping.
I remember the first day we met in Taylors. I was helping her out. And she said I was nice enough for helping her out.(Although my new found friends left me with her after giving her a warning about me."TAKE CARE BEWARE OF HIM DON'T LET HIM DO ANYTHING")(And me of her "SHE'S TAKEN KINGTON FORGET ABOUT IT!")
I stoned and laughed and she just smiled. We talked, we worked. And I missed the bus home but hitchiked a ride from Michael.
As the sunlight faded I said something I won't repeat...A bit personal la...
She called me philosophical. I guess when you hardly talk for 2 whole days. You spout WAYYY load of crap on the first ready ear.
In the end wayyyy after that we hardly saw each other hardly spoke. But then I heard she broke up with her boyfriend.
And I tried to use whatever Joel had taught me. This was before I asked Yiyun for anything. Don't ask what.
Right there and then she tried to use me to get to Fang and I didn't notice. When Fang said no to a favour I asked regarding her, I kinda daydreamed during the lesson(physics I think) I ran through all the snippets of conversation which had her name and came up with a whoooooooooooolllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeee bloody long list of problems. (instability in a lot of ways, and a few other undisclosable things only for my records only)(or for a funnier explanation ask Adrian from PM1)
Eventually she agreed to go out with me I needed the air and she needed nail polish purchased in KL not being local and all. Go figure.
I thought I had Mandarin on that day. Which I didn't(cause it was supposed to be thurs everyone made that mistake) so I went to Peggy's house. For the last time and we talked crap till my Mandarin was supposedly over. (ponteng got me a 95% attendance rate in the end -_- shows on cert) Totally wasted the opurtunity too. Aiya magneto corneto leh.
We never contacted each other after that. And I totally forgot about her as she probably did about me. And from what I know now she's in some former frozen wasteland at the moment. With a new boyfriend joining her next year.
Uhhh yeah. Well if she could see me now. From nice guy who was like a knight in shining armor helping her out and all...Always listening nicely to her problems...Reassuring her...To now a guy thats been broken yet struggling to stand no matter what. Would she be dissapointed? Should I be dissapointed for deviating from my self goals so much in such a short time?
Nah she's too far away to care and I don't think she'd notice since I don't really feel too hung up either exams around the corner. Just slightly bothered and disturbed. But who knows. And who knows where she is?.....
But then I remember Pastor Sandra saying a long time ago. "It doesn't matter what you are or what you were as long as you're trying to improve....people will see it. So keep at it. Hopefully things will change."
Hopefully. Surely. But I guess the situation has changed. I'm no longer dependant on the temporary. Investing in the Eternal truly is the best investment indeed.
