I can no longer pick up my camera anymore.

Horrid isn't it. Famous photographer Lee Kington cannot hold the camera anymore.

It's crazy. It's depressing. It's...hurtfull.

I can't hold it thats the problem.

Sigh Sara's(didn't mispell btw) about to find out why too. Sigh. Ask me to take a picture. I thought I could. Now I can't sigh...

Holding my handphone is becoming a problem too apparently.

Sigh. Is this the end of my photography career? Or will I succeed in fixing that. Who knows?

Sighh first time it's surfaced so violently.

Bloody shaking. And the other problems are resurfacing tearing at other things...But not to worry I won't go into a trashing fit on the floor. And end up having to get this sociopath of a doctor whos addicted to drugs to bring me out of a coma while breaking hospital regulations. I'm prrreeeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttyyyy sure about that.
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Wore the ring again. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhh. Usual reason why. Discourage. But sighhhhh she knows that the ring isn't from someone special. Musta found out some way or other.

Sighhh how long will she hold on...I hope not much longer. It's been so long and she's still holding on sighh.

God please show her the way. There's no point in waiting for me...
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I'm begining to take birthday parties as some kinda omen. Sighh. Sorry Michelle. Great party though. Amazed at the chocolate fountain. And exceptionally tickled pink by Su Yi.

New info came in while at the party. With my current physical state and heart palpitating intensely constantly. I couldn't handle it.

Could feel it hissing and tearing inside me. Sigh. Tahan tahan tahan. Sigghhhhhh first in f4 I got baaaaaddddddddd news. Sighh. This year I got a badddd sign.

Then finally. Today sigh. It CAN'T be healthy at all. Kinda like me typing posts at 1:30 am in the morn. Mom catch me. Kena lelong as the mystery meat at the market tomorrow.

What do I do? Running out of weapons. Enemy ran off with one of them too today. *snarl* The rest of the weapons hissed in their sockets trying to achieve bloodlust type status. But sigh...Not allowed to do anything. Especially with those restrictions. Tried to keep the magic going. You know the magic bit. Guh but got a lil cranky and depressed again.

But I managed to stay happy and all during the party. Can't dissapoint Michelle! Benji was ber-happying with my camera too so I could put the feet up lean back and light a cigar...Oh wait not my house.

But when Jeremy went home with my lense cap...I think I scared Ethan. All the way to Jeremy's house I told myself at every bump to calm down. It's not his fault. Don't bloody him right at his very doorstep. It happens. I'm not pissed cause of it. It's no big deal. Reached sandy park. Took a deep breath. Turned off the headlights. And I was at peace again. Really not sure what I would do without God. Told him it's no big deal too. Bet he was expecting for me to take chunks right outa him. Must heard about my temper guh. He handed me the cap through the gate at arms length too. Like I was some kinda rabid jackal. Woi jangan la takut la...^^

Went to William's sat down ordered teh-o-ais hands still rattling from the adrenaline released from the depression and anger.

Sucked it in and enjoyed the conversation forgetting all about it. Suddenly I looked right feeling someone examining my face. I saw Su Wei(monash punya)! Out on a date with her boyfriend! We waved and Jorrel wanted to know who was she. Sigh Jorrel arh.

Heard about the story of Jorrel, Jon Mah, and the super gullible "really?" girl.

Always splits my seams. As I walked back to my car. Received another sign. But for something else. Sigh can't do much with it.

Was feeling much better. And when I was driving home I told myself...God has a plan for all things big and small. I can't be selfish and always get what I want. Guh even if I don't get what I want...At least it'll be for the best.

Got home pulled out the mental map again. Things point at my foe and another at my friend and another arrow at myself. I pause. I replay the whole night in my head. Benefits of having a memory like that besides still fresh anyway.

I spot something new. And it could go either way. Things are going to get dangerous again. And I check my weapons.

There's a new one. It's time for a plan. A new one.