Stalkers on holiday
I know I've been updating very infrequently lately. For 2 reasons really. I'm pretty sure only 1 person really reads almost every post(or is it really every?) and well the fella busy lah. Exams lah everyone dilanda exams. So if the fella everyday read and everyday I post long post the fella no need study lah. And the other one is lately a bit motivation update. Dahm quiet lah. Got a lot of material to use also.
On a side note...My dad just told me to stop going to Protestant churches coz he calls them deviant. -_- 2nd visit and this happens. Looks like I won't be seein you there for awhile Mark. At least till I can find a solution. Looks like St. Xavier/Ignatius here I come.
Comedy post I guess if you can see the humour in it. Not sure if I can make it funny enough anyway.
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In the office which looks like a stock scene from "the office".
"Hey got your memo" [says the man waving a yellow piece of paper]
"Oh very well sir, I trust there is no problem."
"Well no, not really just a question of 'why?' really."
"That sir, would have to be about the humidity in the current tropical regions. It's raining sir. Raining in quantities as the men and women from those regions would call dogs and cats."
"It's raining human pets?"
"Well apparently it's human for 'A lot of rain' "
"How does that really affect us? We've got men in Andaran a city where it pours non-stop...For years!"
"We'll sir, tropical countries tend to be annoyingly humid with all the rain and heat. The rain is also fairly inconsistent causing confusion among men if they should wear the full dry suit or the full wet suit. As we both know the current model of multi-weather Stalker suit is absolutely good for nothing apart from batting practice."
"Batting practice?"
"Shin guards and helmets make very good baseball bats and baseballs."
"Well good to see those suits are getting some action. Well carry on about your reasons."
"Well...The next part is kind of about the occupational hazards of our men."
"Whats so difficult about stalking really? Sure we give them a fancy name. Bah EYES. And fancy equipment. But whats so hard about waiting in a bush in an acclimatised suit? The fancy suit makes things even easier nowadays apparently. With it's full cloaking abilities and built in binoculars into the helmets."
"Well...See here sir...Just to quote a problem...The bugs sir..."
"Bugs?"
"Yes the local insect life. They tend to seek out the warmth of our men's suits. They like to infest the well...'Entry points'"
"Oh!"[chuckling]
"Well yes, some men have reported 'swallowing mosquitoes'."
"PITY WEIH!"[continues laughing]
"And yes well...An EYES unit in south east asia reports an unusual injury."
"How unusual?"
"It's gotta be a first sir never heard about anything like it before."
"Is it funny?"
"Yes, very funny sir. The nurses and doctors in the infirmary won't stop laughing about it."
"Go on. Stop teasing me."
"Well...See here. You know the new models for the helmets we use have MUPs in them right?"
"Mental Uplink Plates? You mean those little bits of metal which touch the temples on the inside of the helmet? Those chafe don't they I always hated those. Always opted for the voice command models."
"Oh nowadays people apply gels sir...Reduces chafing..."
"So I'm a dinosaur I don't get out much these days ok? And Assault suits have mental nodes."
"Well ok...Anyway as I was saying. Our man here in south east asia decided to us a wet suit because he believed it was going to rain like mad that day."
"Wet suit on land...That bad huh?"
"Well it's for the rain. Keeps it out really well. Turns out it didn't rain. And he overheated and steamed in the suit."
"Injuries?"
"Well...Actually just one. He got electrocuted. By the MUPs"
"How?"
"Well the cable behind one of the MUPs was protruding a bit so he kinda short circuited the suit. He lost a bit of hair from the electric burns and passed out from the shock...No one noticed till they went to pick him up at he shift change. He was basically lying prone in a bush for a few hours because he passed out and the suit shorted out. So basically he couldn't have moved but that was ok anyway because he passed out."
"OMIGOSH! SERIOUSLY DAHM SAD WEIH!"
"Well yes...He was sweating so badly inside the suit...They had to drain him sir. They medics on site were afraid they would get electrocuted so they disconnected his power source first. They then proceeded to yank off his boots and release the catches on his suit. It rather looked like it was raining around the feet when they stood him upright."
"So how is he?"
"Apart from being highly embarrassed and a bit of heatstroke he'll be ok."
"Good to know. And it's nice to see you're doing well in the florist department."
"Florist department?"
"There Stalkers and stalk marh."
"I don't think I get it sir."
"Florists sell flowers by the stalk. Don't you get it?"
"Err...Haha sir?"
"No one seems to get that one. Sigh."
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I think it's funny really. But if it isn't just let me know. I'll try to work on my sense of humour next.
On a side note...My dad just told me to stop going to Protestant churches coz he calls them deviant. -_- 2nd visit and this happens. Looks like I won't be seein you there for awhile Mark. At least till I can find a solution. Looks like St. Xavier/Ignatius here I come.
Comedy post I guess if you can see the humour in it. Not sure if I can make it funny enough anyway.
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32nd October 2007, Monday
Dear Sir,
Just as a formal note for you Sir call it internal memo if you wish.
I'm letting off/redeploying the whole tropical regions of EYES/Stalkers call them whichever name you wish.
They're being redeployed to the currently understaffed Middle World section, 4 seasons sections, and 8 seasons sections.
I've contacted Lauren and told her and she agreed. The lack of EYES/Stalkers would be replaced in those regions by detectors.
You're sincerely,
Ackrell Signahl
(EYES CHIEF/ THE HOUND)
In the office which looks like a stock scene from "the office".
"Hey got your memo" [says the man waving a yellow piece of paper]
"Oh very well sir, I trust there is no problem."
"Well no, not really just a question of 'why?' really."
"That sir, would have to be about the humidity in the current tropical regions. It's raining sir. Raining in quantities as the men and women from those regions would call dogs and cats."
"It's raining human pets?"
"Well apparently it's human for 'A lot of rain' "
"How does that really affect us? We've got men in Andaran a city where it pours non-stop...For years!"
"We'll sir, tropical countries tend to be annoyingly humid with all the rain and heat. The rain is also fairly inconsistent causing confusion among men if they should wear the full dry suit or the full wet suit. As we both know the current model of multi-weather Stalker suit is absolutely good for nothing apart from batting practice."
"Batting practice?"
"Shin guards and helmets make very good baseball bats and baseballs."
"Well good to see those suits are getting some action. Well carry on about your reasons."
"Well...The next part is kind of about the occupational hazards of our men."
"Whats so difficult about stalking really? Sure we give them a fancy name. Bah EYES. And fancy equipment. But whats so hard about waiting in a bush in an acclimatised suit? The fancy suit makes things even easier nowadays apparently. With it's full cloaking abilities and built in binoculars into the helmets."
"Well...See here sir...Just to quote a problem...The bugs sir..."
"Bugs?"
"Yes the local insect life. They tend to seek out the warmth of our men's suits. They like to infest the well...'Entry points'"
"Oh!"[chuckling]
"Well yes, some men have reported 'swallowing mosquitoes'."
"PITY WEIH!"[continues laughing]
"And yes well...An EYES unit in south east asia reports an unusual injury."
"How unusual?"
"It's gotta be a first sir never heard about anything like it before."
"Is it funny?"
"Yes, very funny sir. The nurses and doctors in the infirmary won't stop laughing about it."
"Go on. Stop teasing me."
"Well...See here. You know the new models for the helmets we use have MUPs in them right?"
"Mental Uplink Plates? You mean those little bits of metal which touch the temples on the inside of the helmet? Those chafe don't they I always hated those. Always opted for the voice command models."
"Oh nowadays people apply gels sir...Reduces chafing..."
"So I'm a dinosaur I don't get out much these days ok? And Assault suits have mental nodes."
"Well ok...Anyway as I was saying. Our man here in south east asia decided to us a wet suit because he believed it was going to rain like mad that day."
"Wet suit on land...That bad huh?"
"Well it's for the rain. Keeps it out really well. Turns out it didn't rain. And he overheated and steamed in the suit."
"Injuries?"
"Well...Actually just one. He got electrocuted. By the MUPs"
"How?"
"Well the cable behind one of the MUPs was protruding a bit so he kinda short circuited the suit. He lost a bit of hair from the electric burns and passed out from the shock...No one noticed till they went to pick him up at he shift change. He was basically lying prone in a bush for a few hours because he passed out and the suit shorted out. So basically he couldn't have moved but that was ok anyway because he passed out."
"OMIGOSH! SERIOUSLY DAHM SAD WEIH!"
"Well yes...He was sweating so badly inside the suit...They had to drain him sir. They medics on site were afraid they would get electrocuted so they disconnected his power source first. They then proceeded to yank off his boots and release the catches on his suit. It rather looked like it was raining around the feet when they stood him upright."
"So how is he?"
"Apart from being highly embarrassed and a bit of heatstroke he'll be ok."
"Good to know. And it's nice to see you're doing well in the florist department."
"Florist department?"
"There Stalkers and stalk marh."
"I don't think I get it sir."
"Florists sell flowers by the stalk. Don't you get it?"
"Err...Haha sir?"
"No one seems to get that one. Sigh."
---------------------
I think it's funny really. But if it isn't just let me know. I'll try to work on my sense of humour next.
