Enmity
I'm trudging through that old slushy memory.
Picking out odd bits. Lining them up. Back to back. Trying my best to tie it into a timeline. And by order too. Not too difficult. But the lineup is very long.
And work begins. I examine my memories. Cruel and cutting. Every gesture. Every glance. Every position. Every move.
I skip bits. I slide back and forth. Cross-reference. Check for repeats.
I come to a conclusion. Enmity has developed.
I think I'm kind of used to it. It's kind of casual already.
A bit used to it since I took on the post of photographer. And it only got deeper when I rose up.
But it was more like jealousy and annoyance at my constant presence. Then I started hanging out with Emily.
Fuh. Flak had to begin. Sigh. Territorial. Afraid of a sudden presence of an older fellow in the mix.
3 people quietly but openly having a cold war attack. And I didn't care. Because I was never badmouthed. But it was disappointing to see a guy who used to call me uncle playfully using it as an attack. Weak attack but nevertheless it just showed how desperate they were.
And then everything cooled off as they gave up when she got a boyfriend. Whew.
Then college started. First it was Sue Wei. Then something else hit in HELP.
Sigh. Then it was that Bio A1...Then followed up with first term results annoyance.
But things cooled. I got back to life. Started hanging out with more people. Got to know new friends and things were ok.
I started hanging out with a friend that wasn't that close too. But we knew each other for quite some time.
Enmity in college didn't really appear. Because well. It looked like I had priority and was ahead of things anyway.
But everywhere else nothing happened. Except there.
Information was restricted. Primarily because someone refused to provide. But a plant still needs to be watered. I needed nourishment. To grow and develope. So my other bud stepped in helped me out. Where someone else refused to.
I was attacked non-stop. Not one splinter is thrown in any other direction. And I took all the blows. All directed at me. Stepping out of the shadows I've become a raw target attacked like a piece of meat.
Sadly it's been a long time since I've spoken to Mar-xha so I was blunt. And I couldn't retort.
Then I realised a slander strategy can only work so much. So I decided to build my fortress. High walls. Letting any slander which hit my walls rebound like feeble arrows and land on my foes. Displaying what slander is: a juvenile strategy.
But the boulders which hit my walls. Sent echoes through my halls. Echoes which troubled me.
As if I stared over the walls from my highest parapet and I saw the banners of my brother fluttering in the wind. And those echoes felt like the boulders were bouncing through my walls themselves.
And I wonder how can it be. Then I realise the reason he's attacking me.
And I won't yield. "Brother fight fair" I thought. And so I picked up my shield. Leaving my other weapons behind. "Be the light in any fight" ringing in my ears.
But then I confronted him. And he denied his reasons. Giving me a guarantor.
Trust is never given but earned. And I know he's earned it. So I grant it.
Yet things don't seem the way they should be. Curiosity pricks. I'm lost and searching for new clues again. But things fork like crazy on this tattered map of the world.
So I'm left to search. But my trust remains. I'll just attribute all I see now to the echoes of the past.
Just like the echoes coiled on my ring.
But Brother, my advice to you, if you read this, is not to let echoes control your actions. They stand to harm more than just you and me. And Brother of mine, don't let enmity tear us apart for our work is plenty in the days to come.
And I sure hope...You were honest.
Picking out odd bits. Lining them up. Back to back. Trying my best to tie it into a timeline. And by order too. Not too difficult. But the lineup is very long.
And work begins. I examine my memories. Cruel and cutting. Every gesture. Every glance. Every position. Every move.
I skip bits. I slide back and forth. Cross-reference. Check for repeats.
I come to a conclusion. Enmity has developed.
I think I'm kind of used to it. It's kind of casual already.
A bit used to it since I took on the post of photographer. And it only got deeper when I rose up.
But it was more like jealousy and annoyance at my constant presence. Then I started hanging out with Emily.
Fuh. Flak had to begin. Sigh. Territorial. Afraid of a sudden presence of an older fellow in the mix.
3 people quietly but openly having a cold war attack. And I didn't care. Because I was never badmouthed. But it was disappointing to see a guy who used to call me uncle playfully using it as an attack. Weak attack but nevertheless it just showed how desperate they were.
And then everything cooled off as they gave up when she got a boyfriend. Whew.
Then college started. First it was Sue Wei. Then something else hit in HELP.
Sigh. Then it was that Bio A1...Then followed up with first term results annoyance.
But things cooled. I got back to life. Started hanging out with more people. Got to know new friends and things were ok.
I started hanging out with a friend that wasn't that close too. But we knew each other for quite some time.
Enmity in college didn't really appear. Because well. It looked like I had priority and was ahead of things anyway.
But everywhere else nothing happened. Except there.
Information was restricted. Primarily because someone refused to provide. But a plant still needs to be watered. I needed nourishment. To grow and develope. So my other bud stepped in helped me out. Where someone else refused to.
I was attacked non-stop. Not one splinter is thrown in any other direction. And I took all the blows. All directed at me. Stepping out of the shadows I've become a raw target attacked like a piece of meat.
Sadly it's been a long time since I've spoken to Mar-xha so I was blunt. And I couldn't retort.
Then I realised a slander strategy can only work so much. So I decided to build my fortress. High walls. Letting any slander which hit my walls rebound like feeble arrows and land on my foes. Displaying what slander is: a juvenile strategy.
But the boulders which hit my walls. Sent echoes through my halls. Echoes which troubled me.
As if I stared over the walls from my highest parapet and I saw the banners of my brother fluttering in the wind. And those echoes felt like the boulders were bouncing through my walls themselves.
And I wonder how can it be. Then I realise the reason he's attacking me.
And I won't yield. "Brother fight fair" I thought. And so I picked up my shield. Leaving my other weapons behind. "Be the light in any fight" ringing in my ears.
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
But then I confronted him. And he denied his reasons. Giving me a guarantor.
Trust is never given but earned. And I know he's earned it. So I grant it.
Yet things don't seem the way they should be. Curiosity pricks. I'm lost and searching for new clues again. But things fork like crazy on this tattered map of the world.
So I'm left to search. But my trust remains. I'll just attribute all I see now to the echoes of the past.
Just like the echoes coiled on my ring.
But Brother, my advice to you, if you read this, is not to let echoes control your actions. They stand to harm more than just you and me. And Brother of mine, don't let enmity tear us apart for our work is plenty in the days to come.
And I sure hope...You were honest.
