The Bite
Chimy Changa

Useless Wednesday

By Kington
Amazing how people can put your life into perspective.

I woke up REALLY late today, quickly settled everything, packed my bag and drove to coll.

And I smsed my friend and got an expected reply. Much later during coll I got another expected message.

Sigh. Alright didn't get my hopes up anyway.

Then I made my first mistake for the day. I received an information request wayyyyy late last night. I made a mistake. Wow a definitive source of information losing the thread and getting the info wrong and missing on top of that. Got chastised over the phone.

Ordinary lunch.

Then went to the cafeteria.

Sarah Lim was doing some SAT stuff and then I noticed....Midge.

Talked for a bit. And read Sarah's SAT vocab cards. Ok lah my vocab. Then Sarah started asking me to describe some words. I messed up a few and had difficulty explaining them to her. Strike 2. Deng.

Then I spoke to Stephanie Tan. Really gotta thank her. She's provided me with a ladder out of this problem I've had for donkey long. Woot. And when I talked to her...I found where I dropped the rope. Where I dropped the links. Now I can get back on track. Fuh amazing how you talk to some people and the un-stuck your head.

Then she asked me a maths question. I actually taught her M3 for thinking skills questions last year.

But suddenly I knew nuts. I couldn't do a single question right. I was more redundant than anything. I couldn't even check her sums. I became a wooden stick. Yer. I guess it's time I picked up the pieces and viciously maul my A2 subjects if not I won't survive this...Gotta focus.

Aiseh.(nah my famous word right? heh)

Then I drove home and I couldn't seem to overtake this guy. He kept giving me face I could tell but I just couldn't seem to overtake him. I couldn't find the turning point for my car so I just plain couldn't. Wow sadness I've even lost some driving skill.

Then I sent sis to ss2 got home and was playing dota for about 3 mins till I got a call. Died right out when my teammate did something REALLY stupid.

Then 2 people left the game. And I suddenly realised the importance of the call. I quit the game in the end.

Amidst the shouting from my mom, my sis and my dog's barks...I did my best to listen to everything and tried my best to help. (I hope I helped enough.) I've never had a phone call so long in such a long time since I called Sarah last year and even then it only lasted 20 mins.

But I felt that I hardly did nuts. Wow I've fallen from grace. The guy who Violet and Emily turned to for help is long gone too...

I sent my sister off back to UK.

And as I was walking back to the lift I pulled out my hand phone and read an sms about seasons. Thanks.

In the car on the long drive back home I didn't say anything to my mom so the car was totally quiet. Apart from my music playing on her radio.

I thought about things. I'm accountable for my history but my performance is shown by my present.

And my present is a lil under-performing. I've gotta get things back on track fast. Because I'm about to get into heavy work soon. I can feel it coming.

This is just a wake up call. Not to trod on me while I'm in the dirt. And I actually feel inspired by such a day to take up the wings again and soar. Like I once did before.

Just like what was expected when I was first crafted.

----------------------

Right person wrong time. They ring hard. Tapping me on the shoulder and giving me a sucker punch.

Yeah right person wrong time. It means a lot.

A clue. An indication. And it sinks like 2 super concentrated drops of acid through my skin burning me through.

Double stab.

The first I notice because I've been reviewing something non-stop ever since I talked to someone in the afternoon. And I realise I made another mistake. A bad move.

I hope not. I wish it isn't so. But I don't think I'll know. But the phrase..."words have power" rings in my head. Me and my trap...

I've dropped my very own blades on myself.

And I realise I've picked the right shield. Because if I didn't I'd be weeping with my head in my hands.

Then I realise the other stab.

The right person at the wrong time. Had it been nearly a year ago when I was just picking my tools it would have been the right time.

Had it been close to a year ago when I was switching my resources. It would have been the right time.

Made so close. So parallel. So compatible. Just right. Almost everything is the same.

So comparable. Nearly the same and complimenting each other nicely.

But the time is wrong. I picked some of the other set of tools to diversify myself. I picked up the other helmet. The other greaves.

But the inner things in me still shine through. And I've realised what I'm missing out on. But somehow with what I'm headed for now...I don't regret anything.

Even if I pass on what I have now...I won't know for sure what could've been. I feel the loss. But then again there's nothing in wondering what today might be like if I did yesterday different.

As a man of my craft. Holding my tools high. Working and toiling for God's plan. Taking every cut and blow as a frontliner. And trying to catch his flow and push it the way he wants. While trying to avoid getting swept away.

As a man who's main tool is strategy. I can only plan and hope I don't make any more mistakes.

But as I quote..."How do you make God laugh? Tell him your plans for the future."

----------------

I've screwed myself. The damage has finally surfaced. I want to hit myself for it.

But there's no point. I was only the trigger. I just touched the detonator. I can only hope I didn't cripple myself.

But I can't say it's unfair. I bet my other brother is complaining if it's unfair too. But bro I hope you leave this to me. And follow your future not your past.

Gotta move my resources back though. Confusion. Sigh.
 

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