I don't feel like going back to Thailand. Coz I was quite emo there actually between the haggling and all.

But aiyoh. My dad, mom and sis are pleading for me to go back to Thailand.

Yer.

My mom needs my perfect eyesight(those Thai coins hard to read don't laugh) and understanding of public transport.

My sis needs my ability to haggle, my insanely minor thai, my guiding abilities(sense of direction included she has almost none sometimes) and someone to jaga/accompany her.

I've got no reason to go back apart from getting some people who I missed the first time around some buah tangan. And of course getting Sarah(the other one, no not Yong, no not Tan, the other one lah! Aiyoh Jane lah!) a better gift.

But somehow I'm quite lazy to go. First time I went I got a super chun hotel room due to overbooking so I was very happy. But to go back and get a not so chun hotel room would be like ruining the happy happy image. Sniff.

That and I intend to fulfill the promise to Lesley while everyone else is in Bangkok.

I also get my first taste of privacy in close to a month. I've been sleeping blanketless, pillowless on a mattress in the hall for the past few weeks. MMmmmmm bed......

I also scared those CF guys go out again without me! @@ SNIFF YER I STILL TAK PUAS LAH!

@@ Dad just pleaded with me to go with my sis. Sigh I agreed to go on the condition she manages to settle her UK visa and renewing her passport.

@@ *crosses fingers*
-----------------

Oh btw my phone is having some massive errors. I think it's a maxis thing. So any messages you send me there's about a 90% chance I won't get it. I'm not sure if any messages I sent out got eaten up too. Bird sent me about 8 today all I got was 1.

I cough.

I clap my hand to my mouth as I rush to the sink.

I wait.

I swallow my saliva.

I wait.

Cortisol is running high in me.
-------------------------------------

After lunch with Henry and Sarah. Which I gave Henry a bit of a shock halfway.

It was nothing. Quiet nothing.

I wasn't expecting anything anyway.

After a plain and ordinary dinner at home I just got back to trying to fix and recover lost files on my dad's com.

Then just sat around reading "The awakened mage"

I got some info in during the afternoon which was supposed to leave me feeling elated but somehow I just didn't get into the groove of things.

Then sis said she was coming home to pick me up so we could watch the countdown.

When she got back with the boyfriend I knew I had the chance to jump off and go meet Bird and Jorrel.

I met up with them with about 40 mins to go. Went looking for Nother then. But didn't find the animal/unknown.

So we just waited in the park. With the 2 of them being high as a kite. I think Jorrel was just super happy cause of that...

I would have stared at the sky. But it was all clouds so there was no point.

So the 2 of them just crapped each other really hard with non-stop laughter between those 2 as I tried to yan the lameness.

Couldn't quite get into the total lameness groove.

Luckily Emily wasn't there because she'd be reeling from the pain of the uber crap. Unluckily for me no Emily to teman me.

4.........3..........2.........1.........

*Boom**boom*

The fireworks of 1u began. We just stood there watching. With more random comments of crap.

My phone had already broken it's memory banks. So it was just clicking away in the background.

When it was done we sat down and started talking crap about what to do next.

Then curve's fireworks began. We got up and just watched the shot after shot.

Conclusion. Curve pain better pyros.

Then I found out they were actually depending on me to send them home. When they found out that the car was with my sister. They still didn't care. That high eh.

We walked halfway to the car. Stopped halfway in between though and just tried reaching my sis. In the end we decided to walk to McDonalds.

In the dark. On the pedestrian walkways of BU. Bird has less sensitive eyes. Jorrel's has contacts on. But I see perfectly well in the dark and I know all the foot routes so I led.

3 We walked. 3 We marched.

And we crapped like crazy.

We reached McD and couldn't find a place to sit down. And on the way back down the stairs Bird caused some permanent trauma.

Then we just sat and talked outside McD near the parking exit.

Finally we decided to walk off to the petrol station and get something. Then we walked home. Through the rain and all.

3 brothers walking together.

In the dark. Of the night.

One of us did the exact same thing last year.

With the rain pouring down on us. We just kept going. No point waiting for a ride. No point hitchhiking. No point hoping.

So we just walked.

All of us with our churning emotions inside. Hiding with our own unique styles of dealing with it but yet also shown because of our unique styles of dealing with it.

But we avoid mentioning it. We avoid talking about anything. We just walk quietly in the rain occasionally opening our mouths just to spout crap.

Finally we reach DJ. The area of our homes. And we see our supposed ride if we chose to accept it pull in.

And I take the keys and send Jorrel home.

Beginning as brothers. We have to split someday I guess. But until then we're together with all our problems. Our bond. As brothers.

Quietly handing each other our strengths to get through this new year.

"Eh by the way abang who is going?"

I heard the names but I didn't quite catch one.

"Sorry?"
"Sarah."
"Huh? Sarah?"
"Sarah lah."
"Uhh Jane arh?"
"No lah Yong."

I can't help it but everytime I think of her I think of the very first time I screwed up with after learning some pretty impressive stuff. A lot better than the main stuff I use these days.

But thats not I remember mostly.

I'm running on the edge of a pool.

My jeans are wet.

My feet are bare.

I'm shirtless.

I'm focused on the palm tree ahead of me.

Then I remember a record of a foreseen conclusion about running along poolsides seems oddly familiar.

I focus on the palm tree in the distance and the deck chair.

The palm tree goes from vertical to horizontal. The deck chair goes from horizontal to vertical.

I think of how gravity is 9.81. I think of how tall I am. I think of how near I am to the pool edge.

I think of how I'm most likely about to die or snap my neck.

Oddly I don't think of anything that I've left behind. I don't even think of my life so far.

*BAM*

I hit the ground. And everything is dark.

I roll into a recovery position.

I just clutch my head. Repeating it mentally heavily again and again. "Don't pass out. Don't pass out. Don't pass out..."

However verbally all that came out was "shit shit shit shit shit...."

When the ringing stops. I hear her voice.

"Are you alright?"

I open them and I see her leaning over me.

I run a check of everything adjusting jaw and licking teeth to see if it's all there.

I don't move for awhile as everything is still wobbling from the shock and the blow.

Everyone is quiet and staring. My bud is telling everyone to clear off and give space. Good old Sarah. Arriving first and knowing what is necessary. But nevertheless ignoring necessity.

I just don't move I stop swearing and there's a blink blink moment right there as I wonder who is this fellow staring at me.

I try to avoid the records in my head. Violent sloshing and backtracking together could be very dangerous when you're not sure if you have all your mental faculties with you.

I get up and look around seeing some flesh and blood on the ground. I check my hands and my body.

"Where am I bleeding?"

Living miracle. Even more so since that day eh?

The car weaves right from momentum and angular acceleration.

My right hand grips the left side of the wheel feeling the resistance from the drive shaft in the tyres, grips and all with the brakes.

Left hand reaches for the gear to switch to fifth as my left leg slams down the clutch.

5th gear. The sun hasn't risen yet. Pump harder I will the fuel injection system pulled by the steel cable connected to my accelerator.

The feel of a manual.

It's fast. I've never driven like this before even if I was rushing. Utilising a copy of F1 driving style embedded in my head from watching F1 loads of times.

And the world bleeds to black.

I'm listening to the words of a prodigal.

My eyes are the equivalent of welded shut.

And the world bleeds to day.

I'm putting down my mug gently with my left hand and I'm expanding my throat to check for a sore throat.

No sore throat but I feel liquid running down it. Very light liquid but it tastes lightly of sodium.

I pour myself another mugfull and down it in less than 2 seconds.

It goes back to black.

I feel cold. I feel small amidst this throng of voices. I feel distant. I feel like I'm suddenly all alone in a totally white emptiness with no one around. But yet I hear the voices. And the voice of a prodigal.

The prodigal stops.

And I know it's my cue to begin.

I start talking. And I remember that morning in the car. I scared my passengers. Sarah commented about my driving and the other Sarah which is more used to my driving adjusted her seating position.

I think about how my driving has changed. And as I include it in what I say. I find myself slowing down.

Finally I stop.

My hands a symbol of completion and unity of skills when they're closed, split apart.

The day bleeds back to day. A pale morning. I'm hearing Henry comment about my driving and I'm watching the world whizz by as my memory goes into fast forward.

Back to the darkness.

I speak what it means with a forceful breath.

I bring my right hand to my face. I put my thumb on my right temple and my first 2 fingers onto my left temple.

I try to continue.

I can't.

I press harder.

I can't.

My mouth opens.

I still can't.

I close my teeth. And open wide my lips for more air. Looking like a bizarre grimace of pain.

I still can't.

I press harder with my fingers and I feel the frame of my face distort slightly under the force. My right arm goes numb.

I try to fight it harder. And I feel everything go numb as I give up. Everything feels numb and lightly pinpricked. Yet it's all cold but I feel comfort in this cold because it's not the same cold I learned everything in.

Looks like I didn't make it to the end of the year. I lost by less than 48 hours.

And a hand touches my left shoulder in the darkness. I barely feel it.

I pull my right hand away from my face and open my eyes for the first time in over God knows how long. And I realise the problem.

I concentrate, gathering air and restarting most of my muscles.

And I realise it's a problem.

My team musn't see this. My charges musn't see this. The people I'm training musn't see this. Jason musn't see this. My teachers musn't see this. My friends musn't see this. My close friend musn't see this. The people I support musn't see this. The people I renew musn't see this. The people I fix musn't see this. The people I repair musn't see this.

And I manage to fix myself. Hope does not die. We live on. We carry on in this work.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm good." and I felt like I really am. And I really am after all.

It's been a year.

One depature when I got my license to drive(terrorise)

One went just recently.

Don't go there's just too much grief! There's still more I want to know! More I want to ask! More I need to learn!

She's the last...

Suddenly I envy Sarah's language abilities.

God I plead and beg with humble supplication I'd be willing to trade any portion of me. More time please. Please. I think we all need more time.

Please give me time to soften up again to feel the pain proper. Because I want to feel it this time. Like I did back then.

The gentle chopping of the fan slicing through the air. Outside the window the orange sun casting it's rays onto my neighbours house announcing a insanely hot day for the day greeted me in the morning.

Eh blanket and pillow. Wow it's been awhile since I've used them. Then again my pillow is only about an inch thick.

I hear the quick chanting of another language downstairs. Oh granny is speaking in tongues...GOODNESS GRACIOUS I'VE GOT CHURCH TODAY!

So I finally cleaned myself off. Needed it bad. When you've got alcohol pumping through your veins + Loperamide and various other chems involved with stabilising it + massive gastric attack + cortisol you kinda get knocked out into a GG state pretty fast.

No lah not drunk!

Then went off to church with a bud. And in church I solved a riddle that no one else has noticed so far. And I finally got that renewal I've been begging for. Total reset of everything.

Took Emily and Jorrel to lunch. A&W in state. Saw her feed him waffle. Wah can laugh until die! "Sek ah sek ah!"

Woke up at 6 saw my friend's sms. Decided I belum ada tenaga to layan yet so I just went back to sleep.

Today had lunch with 2 buds. After I sent 1 bud off, me and the other just reconnected on the level that we had a long time ago. I think when he asked the all important question and I gave him an answer anyone would view as honest it just tore away all the time we've spent apart. Been a long time. Was a great talk.

Nothing much nor anything big to do tonight.

----------------------------------

The theory.

"Congratulations." Says a deep voice.
"For what?" A lighter voice.
"For surviving the year more or less." A cunning voice.
"Ah thanks." The lighter voice.
"Yeah congratulations." A wise voice.

Low light vision.

A light voice is owned by a youngish looking fellow who looks too young to be the age written in his IDs.

The deep voice yet again has the face of the same light voice but is dressed in what looks like travelling gear. With an impassive look.

The cunning voice. Same face but twisted into a cunning look. Wearing clothes which seemed to have been tailored for freedom of movement.

The wise voice. Yet again the same face a full white suit covering almost everything in fabric.

And everyone sits on ornate chairs. But dark chairs. With a lot of space between. Orange lights illuminate those speaking but nothing else in the room.

"So an evaluation?" Ventures the light voice breaking the silence.

"Alright then let me start" says the deep voiced person.

"You've started this year sure you've got your marbles. The owner of the other 11A proved you wrong with her cutting ways. But you figured out how to let go. Yet you made the mistake of burning everything that was learnt so you dumped yourself back into square one. Smart enough you picked yourself back up...."

"Yeah you finally figured it out." Interjects the cunning voice.

"You're meant to learn to fully utilise everything. Solo. You're the solo piece in this song because you can survive solo. You don't need anything or anyone else because of the gifts you have."

"Right enough you did figure it out and you got to work using them. Studying them again." Says the deep voice taking control again.

"You accepted the dealings and the pains. Accepted the past and tried understanding the future. And you've laid the first plans for it."

"Well done and well thought out for the best effects I'd say. But who's to say whats the next few events and who's to say how it will unravel." Says the cunning voice.

"Only God would know." Says the wise voice.

"And people came to you again. For help." Continues the deep voice.

"Because you're back to being respectable." Interrupts a kind voice.

A light flickers to life revealing yet another person with the same face dressed in a caregiver like fashion. The expression is thoroughly calm.

"And it's something to be proud about because you're taking care of His children as expected of you again." Says the wise one.

"You've also began to reach out to your faith again and realise the miracles. Kudos to that."

"Back to it. You've also made tremendous progress. Finally getting your studies straight. As well as your domestic life right." the deep voice continues.

The cunning one steps in, "But you've also made a lot of mistakes as well. Your administration abilities leave something to be desired. Actually a lot to be desired."

"But of course at least you've learnt. In fact I'd say you're learning particularly fast this year." the caregiver kindly softening the blow.

"By the by and on the whole. You've become a product that we can be proud of. Something that's finally right. A real charm, proper and well. Growing guts and using your wits more. You've also gained a bit of strength and weight throughout the year. You've become respectable. You've softened and become kinder. Bidden goodbye to your apathy. And solidified into a proper gentleman." the wise one sums it up. "One that looks after women well too." He adds with a wink.

"Well done." the deep one agrees.

Everyone but the light voiced one claps. While he nods mouthing thanks.

The clapping dies off.

"So whats on for next year?" the light one speaks yet again.

"Lets see if you can keep it up eh? And try to fix those poor administration skills of yours. And that is all. The rest will be in the written report." the deep one replies.

"Thank you, gents." says the light voiced one as he rises from his chair. "And a happy new year."

"Likewise" they reciprocate with various gestures.

Fuyoh just had my first shave a few days ago.

As I brought the razor to my chin my hand was shaking gently.

I've got a lot to be peeing my pants about actually. My chin is uneven. I've got scars on my chin too. So an uneven chin makes an uneven and potentially painful shave after all.

"Just the right amount of pressure"
"keep the skin taut"
"Use the lubricating strip on the top edge of the razor to lubricate thoroughly first"
"Go against the direction of the bristles to have the clean shave"

I can never judge the distance in the mirror properly hill anyway. So after 10 mins I still haven't put the razor to my flesh. I gave up and passed the razor to my left hand. Wow it became a blur in my left hand. Twitchy from nerves and lack of sleep.

I pass it back to my right hand. And touch the razor. I nick my skin for being stupid enough to try.

In the end I figure...Hey vibrating blade sure cleaner shave!

And I use my own chin to steady it. A few upward pulls later. Clean chin. Then for the misai.

I remember my friend telling us offhandedly she plucked clean her misai a couple of months back.

I laugh remembering to pull the razor away from myself first.

All of it came off in the end apart from a lil bit on my right side. So I kept scraping. 5 mins later...I've got a nick and a clean face.

Shucks and I was hoping to get no nicks.

Fudge. Gotta shave already bristles poking out.

--------------------------

On a side not however if you guys ever find me online at night. Most likely this is on at the moment. Double screen fun! Laptop on the left, main com on the right.

After all that waiting for lunch. I actually lost my appetite. Sigh. I hope I've enough of an appetite for tonight's poon choi.

I'm trudging through that old slushy memory.

Picking out odd bits. Lining them up. Back to back. Trying my best to tie it into a timeline. And by order too. Not too difficult. But the lineup is very long.

And work begins. I examine my memories. Cruel and cutting. Every gesture. Every glance. Every position. Every move.

I skip bits. I slide back and forth. Cross-reference. Check for repeats.

I come to a conclusion. Enmity has developed.

I think I'm kind of used to it. It's kind of casual already.

A bit used to it since I took on the post of photographer. And it only got deeper when I rose up.

But it was more like jealousy and annoyance at my constant presence. Then I started hanging out with Emily.

Fuh. Flak had to begin. Sigh. Territorial. Afraid of a sudden presence of an older fellow in the mix.

3 people quietly but openly having a cold war attack. And I didn't care. Because I was never badmouthed. But it was disappointing to see a guy who used to call me uncle playfully using it as an attack. Weak attack but nevertheless it just showed how desperate they were.

And then everything cooled off as they gave up when she got a boyfriend. Whew.

Then college started. First it was Sue Wei. Then something else hit in HELP.

Sigh. Then it was that Bio A1...Then followed up with first term results annoyance.

But things cooled. I got back to life. Started hanging out with more people. Got to know new friends and things were ok.

I started hanging out with a friend that wasn't that close too. But we knew each other for quite some time.

Enmity in college didn't really appear. Because well. It looked like I had priority and was ahead of things anyway.

But everywhere else nothing happened. Except there.

Information was restricted. Primarily because someone refused to provide. But a plant still needs to be watered. I needed nourishment. To grow and develope. So my other bud stepped in helped me out. Where someone else refused to.

I was attacked non-stop. Not one splinter is thrown in any other direction. And I took all the blows. All directed at me. Stepping out of the shadows I've become a raw target attacked like a piece of meat.

Sadly it's been a long time since I've spoken to Mar-xha so I was blunt. And I couldn't retort.

Then I realised a slander strategy can only work so much. So I decided to build my fortress. High walls. Letting any slander which hit my walls rebound like feeble arrows and land on my foes. Displaying what slander is: a juvenile strategy.

But the boulders which hit my walls. Sent echoes through my halls. Echoes which troubled me.

As if I stared over the walls from my highest parapet and I saw the banners of my brother fluttering in the wind. And those echoes felt like the boulders were bouncing through my walls themselves.

And I wonder how can it be. Then I realise the reason he's attacking me.

And I won't yield. "Brother fight fair" I thought. And so I picked up my shield. Leaving my other weapons behind. "Be the light in any fight" ringing in my ears.

Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

But then I confronted him. And he denied his reasons. Giving me a guarantor.

Trust is never given but earned. And I know he's earned it. So I grant it.

Yet things don't seem the way they should be. Curiosity pricks. I'm lost and searching for new clues again. But things fork like crazy on this tattered map of the world.

So I'm left to search. But my trust remains. I'll just attribute all I see now to the echoes of the past.

Just like the echoes coiled on my ring.

But Brother, my advice to you, if you read this, is not to let echoes control your actions. They stand to harm more than just you and me. And Brother of mine, don't let enmity tear us apart for our work is plenty in the days to come.

And I sure hope...You were honest.

Someday I'm gonna go out to the country
I'll drive til the highway ends
Chasing after picture perfect sunsets
To take away my breath
I'm tired of living in the city
The world's got me tied on a string
Wanderlust has overcome me
Like Lewis and Clark I'll dream
There's a million different ways to go
Only God can know where I will call my home

Love lead me on
No one else has gone
Faith keep me strong
Love lead me on

The open road can be so lonely
I'm longing for someone to love
If only I could share my new surroundings
Open the doors above
There's a million different ways to go
Only God can know where I will call my home

Love lead me on
No one else has gone
Faith keep me strong
Love lead me on

Faith keep me strong
Love lead me home

I'm lost.

I'm not sure what I'm doing. I'm in new territory. A place I don't recognise anything. Everything that I've learnt in theory. The stuff I never expected to happen has happened.

I'm at a crux.

Being quiet will bring me nothing but silent frustration.

But to speak up would lead me either back to the sufferings that made me who I am or it could bring me higher above what I am.

Does the state I am define what I am? Define the perils I will have to endure the rest of this already predetermined lifespan?

Or is it a glimpse of the futures that I can achieve?

All of it is uncertain. Except that I am at the crux.

"What is my next move?" in a simplistic way of asking.

"What tactical positions and stances I should assume?" is the way I'm asking it.

All the problems piling higher. Even as I pick plans for the current ones. More keep pouring in. My problems. And other people's problems. Those who I am duty bound to help.

Even as I relish my new found abilities and applications of them...I can't help but take a deep breath and wonder if I'll make it through.

All these problems. All beyond my physical age. Crazily difficult. But not impossible. Problems most of my peers haven't even dreamt of before. But I'm glad I had the chance to meet those who have solved them.

I wouldn't be able to make it through without the "nightmare testing".

But even so it's impossible to be sure of what I'm doing.

With no one around to help. No parents can help me. No sister to help me. I never got that brother I wanted. No cousins. No aunts no uncles. No friends.

Alone.

But I'm never truly alone.

Listening to God. I've only heard something once so far. And even then who knows for sure? But I trust. And I hope and wait for the answer.

Love lead me on. Faith keep me strong. In the days to come.

--------------------------

I had 3 nightmares last night alone. And I sleep with little more than mattress and a bed sheet now.

Susah sia. And yes I'm all right at the moment. Just a little nagged.

"Do I have to wear the hat? Sniff"

Cheesy Nachos

Salad with cherry tomatoes, rocket and kat chai peels.

Pot of mushroom soup.

Sniff I wanted 2 bowls but only got 1

Breaded pork chops nice!

Better view of the tableApple sauce. Looks worse but tastes a lot better in real life.Mashy washy potatoe!Whipping cream for the carbonara.The rest of the ingredientsBacon being fried for the carbonara...Feeling my place as pasta cook being threatened. Sausages. A lot of them. They're already half gone in this pic. There were 2 plates.
EH MACHA(green tea ice cream) Home made.Nice bowl. First bottle of wine. (VELI GOOD according to drinkers)
Second bottle
Glasses and decanterAnother look at the decanter
ChampagneMOET! I WANT!Spent most of the night being chilledPort from portugal. Wine fortified with brandy. Strong until can peel paint from the wall.Here's the boxHere's a drunk uncle ^^("cheers") Telling crazy stories about people getting drunk

"you know arh one of my annual dinners arh got that ****** got sooooo drunk he drive drive drive then suddenly he look....EH WHY AM I IN GENTING LEH?"

------------------------------------------------------

Still eating apple sauce.

Missing carbonara pic. Forgot to take. But it was syok! But very very pekat.

I ate most of the food cold. Cause everyone decided to eat first and let me get things done. I ended up bringing dirty dishes to the back before I even had my first bite. But good food.

Tomorrow gotta wake early and wash mushrooms. Loads of them. For a large pot of mushroom soup.

Followed by peeling loads of apples for making applesauce.

Followed by going off to Acts for the christmas play. (Hoping to drag along some fellas)

Then going to Laura's for her lunch invite.

Then coming home and a crazy rush trying to prep a huge and massive dinner for 16 in 4 hours.

Dinner with family and lots of great food.

Oh and MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! HAVE A BLESSED CHRISTMAS TO TREASURE!

And hopefully you get banyak presents which you share with me ^^

Nearly 400 km travelled. In the dark. With no stars in the sky.

Countless papers were burnt.

Countless tears were shed.

Countless candles were set alight.

Bags of prayer paper were folded.

By visitors.

Relatives.

Children.

Adults.

Parents.

Friends.

Former collegues.

In-laws.

Effort appreaciated.

The hour of the Angelus in catholic faith.

She always loved the Virgin Mary.

And catholics have always prayed to her at noon. When the bells of catholic churches were rung at 6am 12pm and 6pm.

Leaving us at 12. After praying for mercy continously. And sending flowers to her altar.

Can we take it as a sign?

Grandchildren were born.

2 are in adulthood.
3 are in college.
3 are in high school.
1 is in primary school.

6 children were born.

6 children were raised to be adults.

3 rosaries were hung on the cabinet adjacent to the bed.

Now the bed is empty.

3 types of prayer paper were folded.

And there are only 3 who can continue the line.

2 Children were flown back.
1 from the UK.
1 from Sarawak as soon as possible.

2 Nintendo DSes kept the other young ones entertained.

1 woman honoured and prayed for and mourned.
Respected and revered.

Was laid to rest.
And 1 quiet journey home to DJ was made.

And 1 generations of Lees has ended. We will honour her. With our actions, mouths and hearts.

She held my head with her left hand and she placed her right on my neck. Her hair was tickling my brow.

It's been a long day. I've been up and about since 5:15 am. My feet hurt very badly making standing a test of willpower let alone walking. I'm also very sick with a very bad cold bordering on a fever with my inner ear canals infected up to the point if I sustain any more damage I'd be smelling blood non-stop again. And my throat feels burnt.

The soft touch of her left hand is soothing and I nearly go to sleep. Her soft skin against my coarse dry skin because I just had a bath not too long ago.

She's behind me so I can't see her face. And it's dark from the dim lights. The shop is about to close.

Then she squeezes...Siong the siong lah neck massage. GEE GEEE LAH But uyoh dahm needed it after lugging my bag around the whole day. Shoulder dahm pain.

First time getting massage. I was thinking like "eh come Thailand not everyday wei must try at least once"

But the place dodgy. There was only 1 male staff and he was crowd pulling out there advertising his services. With 3 women next to him in the staff uniform(just a shirt and some ordinary black pants) waving and smiling.

Nothing la till I saw the back of the card he was using to display his prices. "DELIVERY"

DAHM SCARED! So I told my mom and she said I can go home if I'm worried.

Especially since I was the only guy in the whole darkly lit outlet which was a converted house. On top of that all the masseuse were female. AND all the other staff kept giving conspirational smiling looks to the person in charge of me the whole time I was there.

I ended up getting a foot massage followed by a head-shoulder-arm-back massage.

She seemed to know where all the sensitive bits of a human body were and kept rubbing circular motions into those bits.(feet and thighs only lah get ur mind out of the gutter) It was quite ticklish. But when she did my left leg she didn't do that anymore.

But she seemed to really know where all the muscles were and all the gaps between the muscles were. Like really ada training like that.

I'm still not really sure if it's really a seedy establishment but I fell asleep during the massage. So I just gave up after the second day. No effect lah. But I think it's just me and my half dead nerves. My mom and my cousin said it was really syok.

I gotta admit lah I was really really curious ever since Lesley told me she got a free spa session. But sigh. I guess it takes someone with some serious strength to really squeeze my muscles. Even though sometimes some bits hurt but they were rare. Kept falling asleep.

But I guess everyone should at least try it once. Strange to go Thailand and not have the Thai massage after all.